Twisted Love

Chapter 2 Laying It Out On The Table

Turning onto our drive, I'm looking at this massive structure we call a home. Thinking to myself, our driveway alone should have a name, it's longer than most streets. Our home is equipped with the best of the best, Jerry can't have anything less. Bella has actually programmed my phone with an app that will turn on the lights to the house before we enter it. I'm still lost to all this technology, they rave over. I believe it actually consumes too much of their lives and I try to limit it at every corner as much possible. I finally pull up to the front of the house, we call climb out of the Benz.

As I'm trying to get the front door open with my key, I have Bella telling me to use the app she downloaded on my phone to unlock the door. Not forgetting to tell me just how uncool I am for not trying to move into the future of technology. If it wasn't for daddy, she and Tristan would be left in the ice age. Tristan is advising me, that after dinner he's taking the car into town to spend time with his girlfriend Michele. Bella starts in that she has homework. How unfair her teacher is for even placing the amount that she did on them. Getting impatience Bella, grabs my purses and takes out my phone. Just like that, with one push of a button the front door unlocks. Smiling a smug smile she looks up at me and says,  "See welcome to TECHNOLOGY mom!"  All I can think is dinner needs placed on the table. Then maybe, just maybe they will give me ten minutes of their time. 

Bella, would you please wash your hands and set the table for dinner. Mom it's Tristan's turn, because I did it last night. Why does he always get out of doing his chores? Bella, he's in the shower after playing four quarts in the game. Do you really want to sit next to the smell of that at dinner? I didn't think so, so lets stop being the drama queen and just help the family out a bit. I hear the front door open, I'm a little surprised. Jerry, told me at our noon conversation that he wouldn't be home until around 9 or 10 tonight. Yelling from the kitchen to Bella in the dinning room. I tell her that she'll need another place setting because daddy's home for dinner. She squeals with delight at that statement and I feel a small pang in my heart. 

Jerry, comes into the kitchen with the biggest smiling, knowing he surprised me coming home early. I always enjoy when he's home sharing dinner with us. Actually, my life seems less lonely when he's home. I look up, from taking the pot roast out of the over and smile the biggest smile. He tells me, "That smile right there, it's the very I come home every night." Just then Bella comes running into the kitchen greeting Jerry with the biggest hug. Jerry grabs Bella in a huge bear hug and spins her around like she's nothing but a little rag doll. I tell him to stop, she's not three anymore but fourteen. He informs the both of us that she'll always be daddy's girl. Bella and I both laugh knowing that no truer words have ever been spoken. Just then, Tristan comes running down the stairs talking about how he hoped we're all really not that hungry. That he could take that pot roast down with one bite. Jerry laughed and rubbed Tristan's head, tell him you'll have to fight me for it, son. Bella, laughing at her father and brother's playing, popped off with Daddy I think Tris could take you. Tristan looked at Bella and advised her that if she called him that again, that he was going to put her into a world of hurt.  Just then I step-up to let them both know it will stop right here. 

Dinner finally makes its way to the dinning room table with the help of the whole family. Funny how when Jerry's home, the kids and I seem more care free. More like the family I imaged I would have with him. Does his absence really make that much of a difference in our lives? We all take our seats at the table and bow our heads for grace. Once grace has been spoken its a free for all between Tristan and Jerry with getting at the food. Bella and I keep our hands back in fear of being biten. She and I both laugh because it seems they might actually not be aware of our presences or have forgotten us. Now the chatter explodes as the plates have been filled and each person is trying to get their two cents in. I honestly just set back for a few minutes to enjoy this, it's a cheerful chatter. A family just enjoying being together, why can't it be this every night? Why can't the kids and I have this when Jerry is absent? As the talking starts to slow and they're eating more than speaking. I think to myself this, this is the time I need to speak up.

Clearing my throat and looking down at my plate I say, "I need to talk to you all, about something that is really bothering." When I look up I can see I have Jerry's attention immediately. The kids act as if I hadn't even spoken a single word. Jerry speaks up telling them I think you owe your mother a bit of your attention, don't you? I jump in from there, I just can't hold it back any longer. I tell them, "I can't keep living like this, I don't feel like I exist in this house, unless one of you need something." Your father is always working and he has too, if we're going to keep with the lifestyle everyone is use to. I'm lonely, really lonely and I try spending time with you kids. Just to have a simple conversation with you. Nothing major just wanting to know how your day was and hoping maybe you would desire to know how mine was. Am I asking to much of you both? I love taking you all to your practices, games, dropping you off at friends, and seeing the life your both are making and committed too. I do miss the times that we would go shopping Bella, our little daughter mother days. Tristan I miss sitting and watching movies with you. I'm not asking you guys to stop your lives but at least sit and talk a bit with me. Bella giggles and says talk about a drama queen. Jerry, puts a stop to that right there. He tells me he's sorry that I feel this way and if there's anything he can do, to please tell him. I tell him maybe a bit more time home if he could swing it. He tells me right now he can barely get home for dinner. I do understand and don't want to put added pressure on him. I said what I needed to so I continue to eat my dinner, as does the rest of the family.

Tristan stretches in his chair and exhales a long breath, probably from eating too much. I think to myself here we go, he's going to ask to be excused. To my surprise he starts talking, Mom what are your interest, what do you really enjoy? Shocked I sit for a moment with my mouth open, thinking wow he really was listening and just how much he's really maturing. Jerry pulls me out of my thoughts saying, dear are you going to answer our son? I look at Tristan and smile, telling him I'm sorry I was lost in thought. You know Tristan, right now in my life I really enjoy being a mom. I just want to know that I matter to you guys. You know just wanting more substance to our relationship. Totally mom, from now on I'll try to take some time out just for you. Bella pops in with some off the wall comment about an app she seen on her phone. 

Mom, this app is totally up your alley and what you need. Bella come on, you know I'm not into all the tech stuff you guys do. Jerry interrupts me before I totally dismiss Bella and her idea. Dear give the girl a chance to explain, you never know. Giving Jerry a quick sideways glance, I look at Bella and apologize. Bella rapidly starts talking, describing this app and why I would find it to my liking. Mom, this app is really new technology, state or the art, nothing like I've ever seen before. They say it's actual artificial-intelligence (A.I.). I raise my eyebrows and look up at Jerry with wide eyes, in his normal response to my goofy faces, he laughs me off. Bella rolls her eyes and keeps talking excitedly about how this is going to change my life and give me something to do. That it would even take the place of Tristan and herself. I laugh at her and say no one and nothing could ever take her or Tristan's place.

 Ok, Bella  then go get my phone, so I can take a deeper look into this fabulous app. That you think will solve all my problems. Bella pops off with,  Geesh mom I didn't say all of them, as she's leaving to get my phone. Jerry looks at me and starts laughing. You know Jess you better watch it, you're the one always tell us how those things eat our brain, you could be next.