"𝙈𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙢𝙚, 𝙄 𝙗𝙚𝙜 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪." || Amasai.

Epilogue.

{I already had this written, so I'm posting it now- I'm really impatient lmao}

There were sirens. There were lights. There was yelling. But it was all just a blur to Rantaro. If only he had acted faster. If only he had come clean before this. 

If only he didn't know Shuichi.

He just stared at the ground from the roof. He saw Shuichi die. He watched as the one person he ever cared about left him. He glanced to the side. There, he saw Shuichi's shoes. It was a custom that came with committing suicide. When he looked at the shoes, he just cried more. 

"I'm so fucking useless..."

He remembered everything up until now. The first day he met Shuichi, the day he came to Shuichi's birthday party for the first time, everything. Even all through eighth grade and high school. Now, he was gone. And Rantaro was the cause. He just continued to sob until he felt pats on his back. He looked up to see Kaede and Kokichi. Of course, they were one of the firsts to find out. This only made Rantaro break down. He choked on his sobs as tears fell and fell. Even when he tried to wipe them away, more would just be replaced.

Soon, the cops and paramedics stormed the roof.

----

It's been a week since Shuichi passed. Rantaro, Kaede, and Kokichi were excused from school. Luckily, Rantaro didn't get punished, even after fessing up to the principal that he bullied Shuichi. Rantaro was complete shit. He gave up on everything. His mental health was shit, his physical health was shit, his emotional health was shit, everything was shit.

Though, it was different today. He woke up and moved to the living room. Luckily, his sisters were kind enough to leave him alone. But, one of his sisters came into the living room. "There's someone at the door for you, big brother." She said, then skipped off. Rantaro stood and walked to the front door. There was a man. He looked older, black messy hair, ungroomed stubble, and a cigarette hanging from his mouth. He was wearing a beige trenchcoat with a magenta turtle neck and dark blue boot-cut jeans underneath. "Detective Yowari, department 42. Are you Rantaro Amami?" He said. Rantaro nodded. "We have word that you were involved in Shuichi Saihara's suicide. Today, my team and I searched his house. Upon searching his bedroom, we found three notes. One was addressed to you." He said, reaching his hand into his pocket. He pulled out a neatly folded paper and handed it to Rantaro. He eagerly took it. "T-Thank you, sir." The detective nodded. "You're welcome. And, we're terribly sorry. Shuichi was a good kid." Rantaro sighed and nodded. Then, the detective left. Rantaro closed the door and rushed to his room. He quickly opened the note when he shut the door.

Dear Rantaro,

Hey... If you're getting this, it means I'm gone... I'm sure you know by now though... I'm sorry I wasn't a good enough friend. I get why you hate me. I just wanted you to know that the memories I have with you were some of the best memories I have.

Like, that one time in sixth grade where our upperclassmen, Hiyoko-san started to pick on me? Yeah, I still remember you coming in and protecting me. After that, you took me out to get ice cream to cheer me up. It didn't work though, so you thought it'd be funny to dunk your face in your ice cream. Luckily, you were right. It made me laugh so hard.

Or, that time in second grade where we met those twins from England? They were pretty creepy. You didn't care, though. You invited them to play with us and it turned out that they were super cool. But, they had to move back to England at the beginning of third grade. 

Oh! Or, that time when you came to my birthday party for the first time? Yeah, we had a sleepover! It was super fun, even if you were the only one that showed up... I still remember us sneaking out of my room to secretly watch a scary movie that my aunt and uncle were watching. Then, I got scared. You hugged me and told me you'll protect me. Ever since that day, I felt safer around you.

I know this is all super cheesy and I bet you're not even reading this anymore, but I just wanted you to know that I miss you. I miss REAL you. I know there's a reason why you pick on me. 

And hey, if I somehow survive, do me a favor?

Be the real you.

Love, Shuichi Saihara.

Rantaro stared at the paper. He hadn't even realized he was crying until he saw small drops fall on the paper. "I-It's... It's all my fault." He muttered. He was about to throw the paper until he saw something fall. He quickly bent down to pick it up. It was a picture. "Holy fuck..." It was the picture of him and Saihara on the monkey bars. This caused Rantaro to break down. He slid to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. He kept muttering nonsense like "I'm sorry" or "I love you" over and over. He couldn't think straight. He couldn't even see straight. 

Though, after a while, he calmed down. He glanced at the picture. There was writing underneath it. 

"I'll never forget you." 

{887 words. AGHHHHHHH I MADE MYSELF CRY WRITING THIS- these last two chapters are fucked up... Also, this isn't ending, yet. I still have a mini surprise for you guys :>

bye-anora-}