Dancing With A Stranger 《JHS》✓

09 I don't love you

"Let's not see each other anymore."

I blink few times at his statement and seeking the truth from his eyes. He must be joking, right?

"W-What do you mean?" I asked, when I completely understand what he means.

"Let's stop seeing each other again. That night was a mistake. The idea of both of us, is a bad idea." I can't believe him.

"And you're saying it now, after giving me the best moment of my life?" I tried to blink the tears away but it just keeps falling down to my cheeks.

At this moment, I wanted to run away and cry my feelings out but at the same time, I was scared too. I was scared if I run away too fast, I might never bump to this man ever again. I might never meet Jung Hoseok again.

"I'm sorry. I'm a bad idea for you. I feel bad for everything I've done for you, Jiwoo. You're a good girl, you don't deserve someone like me wh-"

"Classic reasons, Jung Hoseok. What? You're a bad guy and I'm a good girl, so I deserved better? You wanna say that? Tell me, why does it matter when we love each other? If you love me-"

"I don't love you, Jiwoo." crack.

Oh, he finally said it.

I knew it but why does it still feel so hurt?

"You said you love me e-"

"I lied." He inhales for another time and let out a long sigh, as if the whole world's weight were on his shoulder. "I tried to tell myself that I love you, I really wanted to but what could I do when I can't?? Every time I saw a tiny sign that remind me of Chaewon, I keep longing for her, I can't stop thinking about her. I do still love her, Jiwoo and I don't want you to be my rebound love."

My tears fall even more listening to his confession that I already know. It's  funny when we still cry for something that we already expect. I know exactly how Hoseok feels towards me and yet I let myself drown even more. I thought I could change his mind and maybe makes him love me slowly as day by day pass but I guess, I'm just too confident for that.

"So, I really deserved zero chance, even after everything we had?" wipe away my tears slowly, I gather all energy I have to face him.

"Jiwoo, please I-"

"After you know everything that Yoongi has done to me now you're doing the same??"

"N-No, Jiwoo. Listen, I-"

"You know what, it's not your fault. It's my fault. I thought you were different. I should've knows that you're just the same, like Yoongi. Both of you didn't care about my feelings at all. All you care about is your feelings. Yoongi only used me to get over Chaewon but once she wanted him back, he dumped me. Now you're doing the same, Hoseok. At the end, you only use me."

"I hate you, Jung Hoseok."

and at the end of the day, I'm still broken hearted again.

Maybe, just maybe,

This is the best for both of us.