Midnight poetry because I'm a sad bitch

deadline

there's a deadline.
it's next week
it's tomorrow
it's today
it's in a hour.
tick tock tick tock...
do you hear that sound?
it's me running out of time.
i'm tired of my life being based on homework deadlines and things to do.
or 15 second videos that i'm supposed to find funny
but in reality they've warped my sense of time
...
now i cant watch youtube videos because they're too long.
i need 4 layers of music and sound before i can even begin to focus
but i cant even help myself
i cant stop these things.
i need to do this
and this
and this
all before monday.
i'm tired.
notification - overdue work.
it's starts again.
i'm only young but i'm running out of time.
i want to live
i want to live life
before i die.
but in the same vein i want to die
i don't want to be here anymore
i don't want to be on an earth
where profit is made from others suffering and i can't minimise that suffering
because my conscious attempt to do good has 80,000 unconscious consequences.

its kind of tiring that i wrote that a year ago and i still havent changed

well i have but not enough

why do i still have to feel like this