Off-Clock Musings

On Privacy

Here is the truth: I am too hesitant to upload this, and that's mainly because I'm not sure how many people are truly intrigued by what I have to say, nor am I sure whether I want others to see what my psyche is like. I don't like being vulnerable; it scares me.

I remember my high school teachers telling me that I will go far in life, but here I am, sitting on my sofa late in the night, asking myself whether I should really upload something like this or not. If I was going to go far, I think I would have achieved several things by now, but instead I am too worried no one will read this and I'll be writing for myself. To their defense, I am still in university, albeit nearing graduation, and supposedly have a long life ahead of me as a young person.

I won't create any particular structure to this work, but I think I need to commit to it. I've been told I need to communicate with myself somehow, so perhaps if I share this with the world, I will feel obliged to write here more often. Though should I be forcing myself? No, I shouldn't, and I'm not, but I am partly forcing myself to share this on Wattpad in hopes more good than bad will come out of it.

You see, I value privacy, so much so that it is one of my top priorities in life. When I graduated high school, I told my mother it wasn't anyone's business what I looked like that day, and thus she couldn't post pictures for the world to see. I never tell people of my finances or what goes on inside my house (with very few exceptions), nor do I update people on everything when I see them years later. When people ask me personal questions online, I am always reluctant to answer them; I don't know you, so why should I trust you with something that relates to me? Heck, I am even careful to share information with the people close to me. I have plenty of secrets that I will never share with anyone because it isn't anyone's business to get into my business unless I make it their business. I mean this all from the bottom of my heart, provided I do not have social media. Perhaps I should rephrase that. I am online on several sites, but I never use my real names on any sites that I use. I do not have a Facebook account, and I only recently created a Snapchat and Instagram. I opted for pen names so that even people I know personally wouldn't add me. You might ask why, and the answer is quite simple: If I want you to know what goes on in my life, then I'll add your contact information to my phone, and I'll make it very clear that I am comfortable sharing with you my day-to-day life.

Take WhatsApp for example. I love WhatsApp because people cannot have access to your WhatsApp account unless you have their number saved on your phone, and it's my main way of communicating with the people I love. In fact, if I give you my phone number and you have access to me on WhatsApp, that means I want you to see what my life is like, but if you don't have access to my WhatsApp status (or can't message me on WhatsApp in general), that means I am not granting you the privilege to know most things about me. In other words, keep your nosey nose out of my nose (that sounded much better in my head). Recently, I created Snapchat because my sister-in-law wanted me to stay updated with her, along with Instagram. On Snap and Insta, I have even less people than I do on WhatsApp! Anyone who I save in my contacts has access to my WhatsApp, and that means I trust and care for you enough to want you in my life, but if you have access to my other social media accounts such as the ones mentioned, then you have truly won my heart. But how many people am I talking about exactly?

Here are the numbers: I have 52 contacts, and more than half are important numbers of doctors and dentists, university contacts, and people with whom I hold a professional relationship. The second largest category is blood family (always put family above all, y'all!), and the last is—you probably guessed it—the people with whom I have aquitanted. I will admit I am sly with most people who are interested in receiving my contact information; I won't share how I avoid adding people I don't want to have my number, but it works, and I love it.

I am sharing this information to demonstrate why I am hesitant to write out my thoughts here. My mind is a jungle and a moon, the milky way and a savanna, and perhaps not everyone should know exactly what that means, let alone what it's like to have such a mind.