Off-Clock Musings

On Friendship

This piece assumes no abuse, nor mistreatment among friends.

Put your family first, I said. Your family comes before your friends, I said. And I still abide by that, practicing it daily. And I will always say that. Absolutely no one should come before your blood family, assuming you are not mistreated by them, and only when you satisfy the needs of your family should you look elsewhere to provide satisfaction to others.

It's quite easy to define the word 'family' compared to 'friend.' Where lies the line between friend and aquitance? If you only talk twice a year, are you really friends? How much can a person do for you before they are considered your 'friend?' There's no easy answer to this as it is an individualized matter. For this reason, I will refrain from defining it here, leaving it up to each of you to define it as you wish.

Think of the definition for a bit before reading on.

Grasped a definition? Excellent. Read on, cowboy.

Once you accomplish my previous part on how to put family first, you can add onto your responsibility list by bearing the burden of friendship.

This friend of yours, assuming that she treats you as you should be treated, is a person you can trust to give good news to. Your happiness is her happiness as her downfall is your downfall. You become one, bonded by mutual trust, respect, and care. A unique relationship, you and she now share fate together. Neither of you is allowed to let the other drop to her knees. If you do, then you have wronged your friend.

Assuming your blood family is cared for, it is now your duty to look after the people you made a silent, yet mutual agreement with. When in need of money, provide it to him. In times of despair, be his hope. Don't spill your drama on his plate if he already has too much of it. Look for signs he is broken, and glue his wounds. Tell him to stand straight up to build confidence, and don't defy him when he demands your support. Instead of asking what he can provide you, ask yourself what you can provide him.

But also set the standards and expectations for your friend, too, so that she can treat you as you should be treated. She should not step all over you, and when she hears your woes, she should be heartbroken. You and she are one now, so be careful.