Off-Clock Musings

On Family

This piece assumes no abuse among family members.

Some people like the word family, others despise it, believing it is fake and lacks concrete meaning.

For me, the word 'duty' is synonymous with family. I used to put my friends first, something I am slightly ashamed to admit. Most people I've helped haven't batted an eye my direction when I needed them despite the fact all I ever did was serve my friends on a daily basis. You're lost and don't have a GPS? I'm gonna stay on the line with you and get you home. You're bored? I'll entertain you. You need a ride to class early morning daily, and your own family refuses to take you? I'll take you. Your mother is overbearing? Then I won't be. Your father is making it difficult for you to go home once you finish school? Come home with me. You can't pay back your loans and the interest rates are high? Take my money.

These are things that really happened, things that I no longer do, things I won't ever do again unless you and I share the same blood or are family through marriage.

I am not going to say that family is best, because it isn't. Some people may treat you better, your pets even! But your blood is in the veins of other people in this world, bonding you in a way you cannot be bonded to anyone else. Bonded. You are bonded, and you cannot break that bond on a genetic level. This is a God given bond to make you dutiful toward particular people in this world, for, if we all cared for our blood family, then no one in this world would be neglected.

If you have extra money, give it to your sister instead of a stranger on a street. If your great aunt's son doesn't have enough money to go to college, give him the money instead of a charity. If a distant relative has an abusive father, let her move in for the time being. If your mother needs care in her old age, then grant her that care or pay a nurse to care for her at home. Now these examples are mainly financial, but you should look after your blood family in other ways too. Say your nephew wants to play a board game with you, and while you're playing with him, your best friend calls. Let your friend know you are attending to something else right now and return back to giving the child your utmost attention. When your cousin asks you to attend his graduation but it is the same day as your friend's graduation, attend your cousin's.

Given that you share the same blood as a group of people in this world, you and they are one. They are you as much as you are them. Their sadness must be yours as your happiness theirs. Put them first, and they put you first. No excuses.