The next few weeks went by like a blur to Wanda. She didn't really move from where she laid on the bed except for when she needed to treat her wounds and take her medicine. Leaving the room was never an option or even a second thought. The only time she left was at 3 in the morning every three days to get herself a glass of water and sometimes a cup of tea. No one was awake, thankfully, including Bucky. Actually she didn't really know if he was, he never knocked on her door, and she's never felt his mind around her.
Over those days the only people to come check on her were Shuri and Clint. The princess worried about her, afraid that she'll only get worse. The archer on the other hand never talked about her well being, knowing that she never really stayed in the room all the time. Instead he talked about his family, which brought her a tiny bit of happiness. Unfortunately the feeling doesn't last as it's replaced with anxiety. Every time he left she would go to the bathroom and add another mark to her thighs.
Other than those two, no one else visited her. In some part of her, it hurt that Bucky didn't come to visit. Maybe he was better off without her.
It was another night of getting up at three in the morning to get her something to eat or drink. She didn't really get herself any food as it tasted the same as the food in HYDRA. She made sure to stay clear of anything that reminded her of that treacherous place but she didn't realize that she was the reminder.
As she left her room she checked to see if there were any minds were awake. Luckily, everyone was still asleep. The walk to the kitchen was quiet. She went to get her a glass of water but before she left her eyes landed on an orange that rested in one of the many fruit baskets. At first she wanted to just return to the safety of her room but as she looked at it a small smile appeared on her face. Wanda reached for the fruit and then left back to her room.
She walked out of the kitchen looking down at the orange in her hand. For some reason the change of what she'd usually get made her feel something other than anxious and numb. Wanda was so caught up in staring at it that she didn't notice another mind entering. The next thing she knew she bumped right into someone. The person placed their hands on her waist making her jump. "Wanda?"
Wanda began to shake as the glass shattered on the floor. "J-James..." She backed away from him slowly, not wanting to meet his eyes.
He took a step closer to her. "Wanda please...look at me." All she wanted to do was look at him but she wasn't strong enough. "Please..." His voice slightly broke making her heart shatter. She was hurting him. Rumlow's voice echoed in her mind.
If you're not hurting yourself, you're hurting others around you.
She breathed shakily. "I'm sorry..." Wanda walked around him to leave but he gently grabbed her wrist. "James-"
"I know," his grip loosened. "You don't want to hurt me but you won't. I know. Even if you do i can handle it just...don't leave. I...need you." He took a breath and cleared his throat. "I need you." It felt good for him to get it off his chest. To be vulnerable to her.
"I-I can't." Her voice suddenly became loud, worrying Bucky. "I can't quiet the noise..." Eventually her eyes found his. They shined slightly red as tears fell. "I need to quiet the noise so i can think and i can't do it by myself but...i can't do it with anyone without hurting them. I can't Bucky so please...let...me...go..." He looked into her eyes for any sign of her telling him not to but it showed what she said so he let her go and watched as she retreated back to her room.
Bucky quickly cleaned the broken glass on the floor before heading towards her room. He knew that she didn't want to see him but he didn't want to leave her alone. She needed to know that she wasn't alone during this. That she still had a safety net. He sat down, leaning his back on the wall across from her door. It wasn't long before he heard her whispering two words. I can't. This broke his heart, knowing he caused that crushed him. A moment passed before he actually took into consideration of what she was saying. She could mean one of two things. Either she couldn't quiet the noise or she couldn't do life anymore.
On the other side of the door Wanda curled herself into a ball and sobbed into her legs whispering the same words over and over again. "I can't...I can't...I can't..." And she couldn't. She couldn't quiet the noise in her head. She couldn't call for help. She couldn't do this anymore.
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A bit over a week passed before anyone else came knocking at her door. She hadn't left her room since her and Bucky's encounter which made Clint worry so he started leaving trays of food and water outside her door. The only time she'd get it would usually be at night once everyone was asleep.
"Wanda," Clint's voice pulled her out of her thoughts. "Can we talk?" She didn't respond to him, just went to stand in front of the door. "We're headed back to the facility tomorrow. I wanted to tell you earlier but didn't want you to worry. Everything's been cleared up and the government isn't after us anymore. You're safe." There was a small part of Wanda that felt relieved but it didn't last as long as she'd hope. "Nat was gonna fly you back after dropping us off. I thought it'd be best if you had your space for the time being."
Her side remained silent before he turned to leave but the sound of the door creaking open stopped him. "Clint...?" He turned around to look at her although the only thing that showed was half of her face. "Thank you..."
A part of him sank as he saw how sick she looked but he still smiled warmly at her. "Anytime."
She opened the door a little to reveal the rest of her face. It was a moment before she said anything but eventually it came out. "Can you..." He watched as her hands began to shake. "come...with me...tomorrow...?"
"Yeah. Of course." A small smile spread on her face. She gave him one more look prior to closing the door. Soon enough a wave of relief washed over her.
"Someone looks relieved." Clint turned his head to find Nat walking down the hall to him. He waited until she was close enough to start walking the opposite direction with her catching up. "I'm taking it she took the news well."
"She talked to me. Like opened the door and talked to me."
The redhead felt a smile tug at her mouth. "It's a start." She glanced at him to see that he didn't seem to be as happy as she thought he would be. "What's the matter?"
He suddenly came to a stop. "She looked worse than when we found her, Nat. God, she's getting worse."
"But?"
The archer let out a long sigh and turned his head back in the direction of Wanda's room. A great full smile spread on his face. "She's trying.
