Wanda woke up a few hours later to a knock at her door. Her eyes roamed the ceiling, taking in a part of her surroundings. As she sat up, she was met with a pounding migraine, the knocking only added to it. Without thinking, she used her hex to open up the door. "Hey." The witch looked up to find Laura standing there with a warm smile. "Dinner is ready downstairs, if you're hungry." Wanda's mind buzzed with contemplation, if she hadn't added the last part then she felt like she might've actually said yes and went to eat with them. It took a moment but the memories of the hours before played in her head. She almost hurt them.
"No, thank you. I'm okay," her voice was quiet but loud enough for Laura to hear.
"Are you sure? Because i can bring you something-"
"I-I don't want to bother you." She walked to her and sat next to the Sokovian on the bed with her. As if on instinct, Wanda slightly scooted away, afraid of what she might do. Laura noticed this and tried to gently reach for her hand but Wanda just pulled away.
This made her expression soften. "You're not, trust me." With one more look she got up and left, closing the door behind her.
The witch laid back on the bed, breathing in and out slowly. Everything was weighing on her once again, the immense pressure that was pushing down on her chest was becoming too much. She need to escape. But there was no where she could go, no where she could run, not with everyone downstairs. Right now, she was stuck. Stuck in place, stuck in time. Suddenly, her phone rang causing her to flinch. The quiet noise was loud in her ears making her worry if the others could hear it. It rang at least two more times before she even thought about reaching for it. As her eyes read the name, she felt her body relax.
Bucky...
Though the phone was still ringing, it began to fade as her nerves flared up. With one final breath she answered. The line was silent before someone spoke. "Wanda, hey."
Hearing his voice made her smile. "Hi."
"How are you?"
She let out a sigh. "Dizzy. Tired. What about you?" Laura came back in the room with a tray of food and water for her. When she saw that she was on the phone she put the tray on the dresser before leaving quietly.
"Tired." His response made her worry a bit. "I'm starting to remember, bits and pieces at a time. It's not much but," he exhaled deeply. "it's something, i guess. I just wish it was more." Wanda could tell that there was more on his mind but didn't want to push.
"Bits and pieces is better than nothing." Her voice was soft and reassuring. "Let's work off of what we have. Okay?"
Even though they couldn't see each other, she could tell he was smiling. "Okay." They both went silent for a moment but didn't mind it at all, enjoying one another's presence. "Enough about me, how are you feeling?"
"I feel..." Wanda looked at the door, "alone. More alone than i did at the compound. There i had things with me, to keep my mind occupied for as long as it could until it couldn't anymore. That was usually when i felt empty but i would always think that being empty and numb was better than feeling sad and alone...but it's not. I just always feel like if i start to feel the slightest bit of emotion then i would go off so i shut down. Hurt everyone who have done nothing but try and help me but i just keep pushing them away, i push you away and i don't want to. I don't want to be alone." Her voice began to tremble with every word and before she knew it, she was crying.
"Wanda, you may feel," Bucky paused, wanting to choose his words wisely. "You may feel alone because right now, in your position you are. I can't say i know what you're going through because i don't. I wasn't there, i don't know everything that happened to you. Right now you are drowning in your own thoughts but if you look to the surface, we'll all be there holding onto to you when you're ready to swim up."
Something in Wanda clicked, as if what he said made sense to her, like making her actually believe for a second that she wasn't truly alone. But that belief was gone just as fast as it came so she laid down on her side and stared at the wall. He knew that she was still there since he could hear her breathing. At first he thought the best thing to do would be to hang up but his mind said no. She needed to know that he was gonna be there for her through this.
..........................................................................
The next morning, Wanda woke up with wet cheeks. It took a moment to realize that she had cried before falling asleep then woke up again to cry some more. She had hung up on Bucky when she realized that he was still on the phone with her. It made her feel guilty for keeping him up for so long. Due to this, she had completely forgotten about the food which sat on the dresser on the other side of the room.Her heard turned to look at it, it was gone only to be replaced by a bowl of oatmeal with a glass of orange juice. The girl got up to get the food, scared that if she used her magic someone would get hurt.
As she looked down at the food, she finally felt like she had an appetite. Something in her stomach just grumbled with hunger. So after a minute of looking at it, she said a small prayer, and picked up her spoon. Her first bite into it was wonderful. The warm feeling mixed with the cool peaches along with raspberries on top brought the whole meal together. Everything was calm until she heard a knock at her door.
"Hey, Maxi. It's Nat. I was wondering if we could talk?" Wanda sat there for a moment, contemplating. This was something that she needed to work on, making decisions but it was always hard not knowing what the outcome might be. She knew by the tone of her voice that it was something serious and she hates confrontation. "Or i could just talk out here, just let me know that you're listening." After thinking for a few seconds the witch tapped her spoon on the side of her bowl. "Okay, good. Look, i know this is all overwhelming for you, trust me it's gonna be but, we're trying and i know you are too. It's just, i don't know..."
There it was, her daily reminder that she was in a bad place. Most of the time she would forget she was even there until somebody brought it up. And just like that, her appetite was gone. Her stomach twisted into a knot making her insides squirm. Everything that settled into her was about to come right out. She felt sick, disgusted with herself for even giving in the food that was brought for her.
While Nat was standing outside, the door suddenly swung open revealing Wanda. Before the assassin could even get a word out she pushed passed her and made her way to the bathroom. As soon as Wanda was in she locked the door and threw up in the toilet. Nat went to knock on that door but before she could speak the witch's voice spoke. "I'm fine." She slid down the bathroom wall breathing in and out slowly. "...i'm fine..." Her whisper of assurance to herself rang in her ears, almost convincing herself, her body that she actually was.
But we all know what the truth is.
