Nat and Clint waited in the car patiently for Wanda to come out. Today was the day she'd be coming back the farm after being at the clinic for three months. The assassin was excited to see her while the archer was nervous. "Clint, you have to calm down. She'll know that you're scared and that'll just make her anxious when she doesn't have to be." He took in a breath.
"I'm not scared, i'm just-"
"Worried, i know but you don't have to be. This place helped her. She's gonna be better." Her attention went back to the doors of the clinic opening, out walking Wanda with earbuds in her ears. Nat smiled before getting out of the car. "Look at you. You look good." She wore a slightly oversized, grey crew neck with a pair of loose mom jeans. Wanda's hair had grown out past her mid back.
This brought a chuckle from her. "I feel good." She hugged her once she was close enough, savoring the warmth of another person. "It's good to see you."
"It's good to see you too, Maxi."
As they pulled away, Wanda saw Clint walking towards them. "Hi." He noticed the slight hesitation but didn't say anything.
"Hey, how're you feeling?"
She looked around, taking in the place for the last time. "Good, actually. Really good."
"Well that's good to hear." Nat reached out to take her suitcase and this time Wanda let her, walking by her side as they made their way to the truck. He was about to follow when he was stopped.
"Mr. Barton, can i have a word with you please?" The archer turned around to find Dr. Jones standing by the doorway. Clint looked back before moving closer to talk. "Wanda has been progressing wonderfully. She went from not saying a word to opening up in just a few weeks, which is an achievement for someone in her condition." Jones looked from the car back to him. "But i'm afraid she won't truly feel at peace with herself until she expresses the anger she's been suppressing. Wanda feels restrained with her powers, scared that if she lets that anger out she'll hurt someone she cares about." He looked at her shocked. "Yes, i know about her. She told me."
Clint looked back at Wanda who was sitting in the back with her knees to her chest, earbuds in, while staring out the window.
*******
"So, Wallflower, how was your weekend?" Dr. Jones asked as she sat down in her sofa chair.
Wanda just stared down at her hands, too deep in thought. "People don't give girls enough credit, do they?" Her therapist continued to look at her, wanting to know the story behind the question. "I was at a market yesterday with my guardian's wife, Laura. We were about to check out when she realized that she forgot something, telling me to just wait at the side as she went to go grab it. I waited there, thinking about how people here were so much nicer than the ones in the city, people there were always...i guess i was frowning a little, deep in thought, someone, a man, a grown man told me to "smile sweetheart!"" That's when the witch finally lifted her head to look at her. "Strange right? Telling some stranger to look happy. You know it only takes one more muscle than smiling to punch someone in the teeth...blood's better than tears anyway, actions over thought, thoughts left lingering wriggling through viral veins and organs when trying to fight something you know is bigger than you, the cudgel that has bludgeoned countless before because if there is no struggle then you lose the cold and broken hallelujah of..."
"...well at least you fought back," Jones finished.
"That's when Laura came back and told him off but all i could think was if i was the first girl he's said that to."
"What would you have said if Laura wasn't there?"
She didn't need to think hard on this. "Don't tell sad girls to smile. Don't tell sad girls because she might be the type that gets cut by hipbones, don't tell sad girls to smile because she might still be trying to scrub someone else's sin from her skin, hot water, holy water, it always flows under the bridge eventually. And the dead can only feel cold so if she can feel the burning water then maybe...maybe don't tell sad girls to smile because she does it for herself or someone she feels comfortable with, not some slack jawed bogeyed nice guy who doesn't find a frown appealing, she might have a good reason to be sad so don't you tell me to smile!"
This made her grin. "Very good. You're angry."
"No, just frustrated. I can't get angry."
"And why is that?"
This made her breath deeply, looking down at her hands which were picking at her skin. " I just...can't. The last time i did people got hurt." Wanda remembered back the mission in Lagos. How she got angry when she was trying to contain the bomb. Seeing, what she thought was Rumlow, just made her blood boil, all of the pain he had caused her was the only thing that went through her mind during that time and in result she lost focus. "Is there a way i can pass the anger stage?"
"I'm afraid not. The only way for this to work is if you go through it." The doctor got up from her chair, walking towards a box before picking it up. She placed it next to her motioning for her to open it. "If you can't verbally let out the anger, then try to do it physically."
Wanda rolled her eyes before opening it to reveal plush toys. "What am i supposed to do with these?" Jones took one from her hand before throwing it at the wall. She tossed one to her.
"Your turn."
She was hesitant at first but eventually threw it. It wasn't a hard throw, more like an exhausted one. The witch didn't seem satisfied with and decided to throw another. And another. And another. Until eventually they were banging again the wall. Wanda's frustration started to grow as tears stung her eyes. As soon as she felt her eyes turn red she stopped, realizing the dent in the wall.
Wanda breathed heavily as she pressed her back against the wall, sliding down onto the floor. Her eyes found her therapists as they looked back at her solemnly. "I can't get angry."
Dr. Jones came to sit next to her. "Can't or too afraid to?"
*******
"We've been monitoring her very closely and noticed that she's been showing a few signs of bipolar depression. I could be wrong but if you could update me at the end of every week then i'll be able to make a diagnosis soon."
"The seizures?"
"A way her powers release the pent up anger, stress, and anxiety. It's dangerous but it's not harming her physically. Theoretically, they should subside once the anger is released."
"Thank you, Dr. Jones." With that she left, letting them return back to the farm. Nat noticed his distress and made a mental note to check on him before going inside.
The ride back was quiet, none of them really having anything to say at the moment. The witch watched as they passed trees, letting herself sink into the music that was playing in her earbuds. She felt calm at the moment, wishing that it would last forever but knew that it wouldn't. When they pulled into the driveway, Wanda was greeted by Lila jumping up and down at the car door. "You're back! You're back! You're back! I can't believe you're back!" This made her laugh.
"Me neither." She let the girl hug her, patting her back gently. Discomfort settled in her but she pushed that aside, trying to stay calm. Laura followed after her with a smile on her face. The witch got out of the car to hug her. "It's good to see you."
"It's good to have you back. The kids really missed you." She pulled away from her to give her a good look. "You must be hungry, i have food ready on the stove i just need to set the table-"
"Actually, i ate before i left. Thank you but i think i'm gonna get some rest." Wanda went to grab her stuff from the back of the truck leaving them outside. Once she knew that she was alone, she let her smile drop, feeling the tiredness return. She took off her backpack, placing it down next to her guitar which rested by the dresser. Wanda paused her music, pulling the earbuds from her ears, tossing them on the bed. Her arms stretched above her head as she let out an exasperated sigh. Eyes looked around the room, taking it in once again. The familiar comfort of the room surrounded her as she lied down on the bed, staring ahead of her hoping for sleep consume her before her own thoughts did.
