ANGEL'S ASHES, bungou stray dogs [on hold]

i. bathed in blood

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𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋'𝐒 𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐒

𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘯𝘦: 𝘣𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘥

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⚠ slight trigger / content warning ⚠

     IF SHE'D HAD A choice back when she was younger, Angel wishes it had been Sakunosuke Oda that found her and not Ōgai Mori. Maybe things would have turned out differently; maybe she would have gotten to live a normal life without having to be a heartless killer or a weapon. However, some things just can't be changed, and she has accepted that, but it's still hard to bear the weight of all that's happened...

     Her home was destroyed in the aftermath of a war, she was only four or five at the time, and, somehow, she was the only one to survive. It was a massacre that made the river run red and the homes they once adored become singed rubble, remnants of the beauty forever gone. Everyone was covered in the insides of someone else. Not even the babies were spared in the attack despite the mothers' best attempts at fighting off their malicious and twisted assailants.

     That day, Angel watched as her mother was raped and killed, tortured to death really, before her eyes by the men that once protected them; the men whose minds had been twisted beyond repair by the horrors of the war. That day, she watched as her father was flayed alive after watching his wife perish and his older daughters forced to bear the children of their mother's murderers; seeing how they became nothing but broodmares for the former soldiers. That day, she watched her brothers either forced to join the soldiers or face the dissection of their bodies whilst they were still alive.

     None of them survived.

     Being the only survivor of that day came at a price her young mind didn't realise the weight of, and it's a price she'd still pay today if she were given the chance to go back. The only reason Angel survived such a massacre was because she committed a massacre in return. Her Ability had never been used to such an extent before, or for such a malignant purpose, but, by the gods, was it used for such a thing that day. She can still hear their terrified and pleading screams sometimes, and she can even hear the shattering of their bones and the ripping of their flesh and muscles, all accompanied by the smell of rotting corpses and iron blood.

     Several days after that hell, Angel was found in what remained of her old house, covered in dried blood and unidentifiable lumps off the human body, not a sign of an injury on her young body, sleeping between what remained of her parents. Ōgai Mori was quick to piece together what happened when she was brought before him, still bathed in the blood of friends and enemies alike, and he didn't hesitate to introduce Angel to the leader of the Port Mafia at that time. For some reason, she was recruited and taught how to use her Ability to fight and to kill those who were deemed to be enemies; to save and to protect those who were deemed to be allies.

     Angel was cleaned and clothed and fed, raised alongside a boy by the name of Ryūnosuke Akutagawa, who would some day become an enemy and then a friend, and his little sister, Gin. At the time, he was merely a tool to Angel; someone to have around so she would not be alone all the time. However, a small friendship did start to blossom by the time they reached the pre-teen stage, but she was, and still is, quick to dismiss that she ever did like the boy back then. They were nothing, and that's all they were ever going to be — even to each other.

     Or so she originally thought.

     It was on the cusp of thirteen when Angel officially met Osamu Dazai. A man — no, a boy with such beautiful eyes filled with a sadness and a darkness that made her blood run cold and her skin burn in the most insane way possible. He was just past fourteen at the time, but there was such a morbid maturity about him that gave the impression of him being older, and he was to be the youngest Executive Officer of the Port Mafia in history. There was something so utterly mesmerising about him, something that drew her in like a moth to a flame, and she soon knew why.

     He lived for bloodshed and war, and thought for it to be a way to fill the hole he has within. He once told her that he thought of death as a way to free himself from the oxidizing world, but, strangely enough, he can't die no matter how hard he tries. She could empathise with him, but she can't say for sure if he ever took her seriously when she told him she knew how he felt. To tell the truth, she doesn't blame him for thinking such a thing, because, if you were to look at her, Angel wouldn't seem the type. Honestly, neither does he...

     Dazai once told Angel that his dream was to commit double suicide with a beautiful woman, so she guessed that it counted her out of the running. She never got around to properly telling him, but, because of that day when she was little, she turned to self-mutilation for a reprieve to her agony and had tried, numerous times, to end her own life, but with no success. Angel was willing to die for him, with him, by his hand — whatever he wanted, but she never told him such a thing, for it was a rather idiotic idea for her to vocalise.

     Dazai trained both Ryūnosuke and Angel for a handful of years, and they were probably the best days of her entire life despite the countless bruises and wounds. His Ability, No Longer Human, nullified the Abilities of others whose skin he touched for however long he touched them, and that meant either they learnt to fight without their Abilities, or they died. Angel excelled beyond his expectations in both hand-to-hand combat, martial arts, melee fights, manipulation and in torture, as well as strategizing and tactical planning.

     She was the perfect subordinate, and he was the perfect teacher. Along with Chūya Nakahara, they were some of the deadliest people the Port Mafia ever created, but Dazai always had this lighter side of himself that he only really let Angel and Sakunosuke Oda see - and, on occasion, Chūya. Despite all of that, Angel had a nagging feeling that it wouldn't last for long, and she desperately wishes that she had of been wrong...

     Sakunosuke Oda died at the hands of a terrorist, and that threw Dazai over the edge. Something changed in him, and, one day, out of the blue, he vanished. He abandoned her. Angel went after him of course, but she couldn't persuade him to come back with her no matter how she tried. Eventually she gave up and let him go, and, honestly, it was probably one of the best choices she could have made, or Angel wouldn't have a story; a life.

     After all, the only reason Angel alive is because of Osamu Dazai and Chūya Nakahara.

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This first chapter is dedicated to the lovely -existendency- 🥰🥰