Save My heart {Larry}

His hands fit like my t-shirt.

Hey love's, its been so long i know. i  want to thank each and every one of you fantastic people for reading. I've been gone lately, mentally not phyically, and i stopped writing for a very long time. It was werid not writing when ever i was down, but i just couldnt get myself to do it. Last week i came on and saw how many reads i had gotton. 4,000+ reads is just mind blowing to me. I love each and every one of you. I'll be doing my best to update more now that im better.

Lots of love xx Sarah-Jean

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Harry’s P.O.V

Nov. 11th

Dear dairy,

 It’s been a while since I wrote in you. Last time I placed this pen on this paper was a fantastic day. The morning after him, I remember waking up to him, I remember feeling his tan arms around my waist and I remember his screams. Him yelling at me, him saying he hated me, saying he never wants to see my revolting face again. He said I ‘took advantage of him’ or so he put it.

 It’s been 3 months now, we are civil. We barely speak though, it’s been an amazing couple months for us, all the awards and new album coming out and the videos, but nothing really hit me. I would pretend it did, play it up for all of our beautiful fans. We have had so many fights. Over the most idiotic things, he didn’t realize how much pain I’ve been in. All my tattoos don’t even hurt anymore because I’ve become immune to pain. Lou, our makeup artist, does an amazing job covering my scars.

  I cut more now; I cut at lest 2 times a day. In the morning and at night, but of course he doesn’t notice. He never notices me. All he cares about is El. They are everywhere now, they have people taking pictures of them all the time, and I guess that’s what he wants. He wants people to see them out together so the ‘Larry’ rumors die down.

 I go on tumblr some times and read the Larry tag. They notice everything, they can see how broken I am, they can see how much he is hurting me, they see right though his ‘love’ for El. I don’t really like how mean they are to her, well some are mean, others are not, but they are funny. They give her nicknames like Tina, and TB. I read the fan fictions also, they hurt the most, some cause me physical pain, and they show me what I wish we were like. Others just make me shut my lap top quickly and breathe heavy. I end up in the wash room half of the time, cutting or other things…

When we were in the studio recording it was the worst. It was so hard to sing with him in the room. He is the reason why things went even father down hill. I remember when they found out, and it wasn’t a pretty memory. 

 I stood in the recording both letting my voice float around the words from ‘Over Again’. I sang the words “Can we stop this for a minute? You know, I can tell that your heart isn’t in it or with it” my voice shook around the words.

 But when he sang “We can both remove the masks and admit we regret it from the start” that was when I broke down and ran from the room.

I ran towards the nearest room where I could be alone. Once I found it I dug in my pocket to pull out the blade. Just as I was about to drag the blade across my skin I heard the door swing open, and I turned to look, the blade slipped from my hand. I stared at the beautiful figure with my blurry eyes. When my vision returned I saw him standing there with his mouth wide open. I started to shake and I felt my mind run wild. I reached for the blade quickly and digging it into my skin quickly. I needed to feel that release of pain, of punishment. I felt tight arms on me pulling at my hands but I fought. I fought back, shaking and crying and screaming.