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A normal day of Edge

"Hmm, what should I do today? Should I jack off to porn or go to the beach with my friends?" Edge was thinking with his little sick mind on what to do for today. "Well," he started talking to himself again,"I could watch porn and jack off, but it goes so fast. I'll go to the beach with the gang and have a grand old sick time. Hopefully, my favorite type of women are there."

He called Penny first. "Hey Penny," "Hey Edge and no, I will not give you a blow job." 'Damn it," he thought to himself. "That's not what I wanted to ask you. Can you go to the beach today?" "Sorry can't, my female cousins are inviting me to a lake and we're not wearing any bikinis." "Alright, I'll see you later." "Bye!" She hung up. Edge started crying. "Damn it, why does the pervert god hate me." He called Gwen.

"Hi," "Hey Gwen, can you go to the beach today?" "Sure, come over to my place and we'll walk there." "Sweet! Alright, I'll see you there. Bye!" "Bye!" He hung up. Edge called Bacca.

"Hey Edge." "Hey dumb ass." "Let me guess, you want me to go to the beach with you because you're a pervert. I'll go, just because I want to go fishing." "Great! I'll pick you up later." "See ya Edge." "Bye." Edge called Steven.

"'Ello?" "Hey Steven, are you busy today?" "Yes, I'm going to get Sharknado 75: We won't stop making crappy, cheesy movies and buy it at DJ's black store." "Alright bye." "Bye." He hung up, left the house, and went to Gwen's house.

1 hour later

"Why the hell are we here?" Bacca questioned. "It's a beach dude, chill." Edge replied back. "Dude, we're at a nude beach!" "And?" "We're not supposed to be here. If we get caught, we'll be naked, dead meat." "Let's have a vote, all in favor of going to the nude beach say I" "I" "I" "Really Gwen? You're with Edge on this one?" "Try something new, right?" Gwen started blushing. "All oppose?" "I" "Alrighty, let's go!" They entered the beach and Edge passed out immediately with a bloody nose.

Edge woke up in a hospital bed. A nurse was next to his bed, looking at him. "Did you go to a nude beach?" she asked. "Yes," Edge answered back. "That explains why you had a huge bloody nose." The nurse left the room and Penny, Steven, and Gwen came in. "Dude," Steven started talking, "You were out cold for three weeks! What happened?!" "I think... I think I saw a goddess." "Well, don't go there again!" Penny yelled outrageously "Unless, she summons you. For now, read this fan fiction about Nami and Nico Robin. See you later pervert freak." She left the room with Gwen and Steven. "I need new friends- Wait what's this?" Edge opened the book and there was a paper with a website called Sweet Areas. "I'll look it up right now!" He got up and waited for the Tardis, which never arrived in time. "Screw it, I'll take the bus." As soon as he left the room and the hospital, the Tardis appeared in his room. "Don't open that book!" The doctor yelled out. "Shoot, he's gone. Oh well, rest in peace boy." He entered the Tardis and left.

Edge ran to his room, turned on his laptop, and looked up the website. It was...the most amazing...thing in the world. It was a free porn website with every kind of porn. Edge fell on the floor and died.

Three days later, Edge enters hell and found out that the Devil was a women. The Devil instantly slapped Edge and sent him back to Earth alive again. Edge woke up.

"Wow what a bitch. Okay time to jack off to this porn website." And so, Edge Ketchkum (not his real last name) has caught his new friend, Sweet Areas, in his grand pervert adventure. What will happen next? Stay tuned!