The Last Time (Lady Gaga fanfiction)

How to Hide This?

< if you see '*', it is Alice's thoughts. If you see '**', it's basically her "arguing" with her thoughts in her mind. >
This may be a triggering chapter to some, by the way.
***

I finally ran to my house and saw Gaga standing in front of the house, just staring at Asia, who was laying on the front lawn.
I pull the hood of my sweat shirt up and over my head, hoping that it shades my face a bit. Gaga looks up.

"Hi Alice!" She yells

"Hello." I said, quietly.

"How was college?" Gaga asked

"Great." I said

* It wasn't. I'm lying to you so you can be happy *

"Good!" Gaga smiled.

"Yeah." I mutter.

"Come on, let's go inside." Gaga said, picking up Asia.

"Okay." I say

*
I was greeted by Natali.

"Hey Alice." She smiled

"Hey." I said "Um... How are you?"

"Good! How are you?" Natali asked

"I'm okay." I mutter

I forced a smile, Natali and Gaga stared at me, and tilted their heads for a minute.

*Please don't notice my depression, please don't notice my depression.*

"You... Sure you're okay?" Gaga asked

"Of course!" I said "I'm okay!"

I forced another fake smile.

"Okay." Gaga muttered

"I got to go upstairs, in my room... To do my homework!" I said

Gaga nodded and I ran to my room. I close the door, lock the door, and sit on my bed. I take off my sweatshirt and begin digging through my dresser for one of my razors.

I begin to cut my left arm first, then the right arm. I'll admit: I try to cut deeper each time I cut.
I however, know that since I am a werewolf and vampire, I may not die from a "small" cut on my arm.
That, on the other hand, doesn't stop me from hurting myself.

I cut since I was about seven. At that age, I had stopped just days later, because something was telling me that it was wrong.
I began again when I was ten years old. I am twenty now. I can't remember what my arms looked like with no cuts. I want to begin crying again.

"Slut. You, Alice, are a slut." - the words from a classmate towards me echoed through my head. I don't wish to remember that day. I don't have a choice. That day haunts me and I don't want to talk about it.

"Alice!" Gaga yells from the living room.

"What?!" I yell back.

"Come down here!" Gaga yells

"Coming!" I yell. I put my razor back and try to stop the bleeding with a napkin. I hide the napkin and put my sweatshirt back on.

I'll actually do my homework later.

"Yes?" I asked Gaga when I come down to the living room.

"Um... Alice, seriously. Are you sure you're okay?" Gaga asks me, coming close to me.

"Yes. I'm okay." I said

"Why are you wearing a sweatshirt, it's summer time." Gaga said

"I'm actually cold." I said

Gaga was looking into my eyes. I tried to look into hers.
"If you need help, you'd tell me, right?" Gaga asked

"Of course!" I said. Gaga smiled and holds out her arms. I hug her.

I don't want anyone to figure out I'm depressed. That'll be the last thing is want anyone to know about me.
But, how do I hide this?

***
If any of you are reading this, I may put up another chapter tonight. Yas.