Kiss Off ↣ jschlatt

vii: am not / are too

milo beckman
21 may

schlatt and i were actually having a really good time.

i'd scream, and then he'd scream because i screamed, and then i'd start rambling. schlatt's nice to ramble to, he listens to my tangents, even if they're just to distract myself.

apparently, he just got jumpscared. "oh dick and balls!" well thats an expletive if i've ever heard one.

there was a moment of silence as we creeped through the game's empty town.

"schlatt," i whined. "i'm scared."

he gave a tense laugh, "well... well don't be. i'm right here..."

i tried to ignore the chat as our viewers continued to ship us.

i screamed as a zombie sprung up on my screen, hiding my eyes behind my hands, as if that would help. its gory, grotesque face was a reminder that i'd just killed us for probably the eleventh time.

schlatt began to laugh at me. like, full-on hysterics.

"you fuckin'... and your little baby hands... and your screaming..." he could barely choke out a sentence through his chuckles.

"hey!" i pouted. "you're the one who yells 'dick and balls' at any suprise!"

my defense only pushed him to tears. watching his facecam on my second monitor, i saw him wipe literal tears of laughter from his red face.

chat was spamming pogs, as they should be.

"schlatt," i hate being made fun of, "c'mon."

"i just—" he turned to look into the camera. "you're so easily scared."

"well, yeah, but..." i don't have a defense. "you're dumb."

"miles, c'mon," schlatt shot me a charming look. "admit it! you're a little, tiny baby who is scared of everything." he held up two fingers close, trying to emphasize my 'little tiny'-ness.

"i am not!"

"are too!"

"am not!"

"are too! you literally told me you were scared."

"well, yeah, but—"

he cut me off, continuing, "and we've had multiple talks about your size—"

"my size doesn't matter!" i just phrased that in the absolute worst possible way.

"god, milo, i am so relieved to hear you say that." schlatt breathed into the mic, jumping on the opportunity.

the tips of my ears burned as i sunk into my chair.

"oh shut up!" i could feel mysef blushing.

"on that note," schlatt started, "how about we start to wrap up for the night?"

only now did it dawn on me how tired i was.

"good idea," i yawned softly. "goodnight, guys! thanks, everyone for tuning in. and special thanks to mr. jschlatt here for being my asshole therapy dog tonight."

i ended my stream as schlatt gave a short outro. soon enough, it was just the two of us, staring at eachother on the call.

schlatt yawned, leaning back to stretch as he did. his shirt lifted a little, and i tried to think of a joke for it. weirdly enough, i couldn't think of anything.

we did our respective outros and closed out our streams, just sitting with one another in the call.

"thanks for streaming with me tonight," i smiled, resting my head on my knee. "it was really fun."

schlatt gave half a chuckle, "aw, miles, you don't gotta thank me." he brought his hand to the back of his neck. "y'know, i'm really excited to get to see everyone, you and your goats included."

i looked up to my monitor, his side of the video call on fullscreen. he was obviously tired, with his eyelids low and a hand propping himself up.

"i'm excited to have you guys!" and i really mean it. i was nervous before, but it'll probably be a great time. "what time are you guys getting in?"

"well, we're all coming from different places," he yawned. "they'll all be getting in probably between, um," schlatt paused to think, his brain probably foggy. "between three and seven pm."

"oh, that's not terrible!" i chirped

"for them, no," his laugh was tired. "i'm flying in at eight am."

poor schlatt. he'll be there all day waiting for them.

i suddenly got an idea.

"hey, um, schlatt," i hope i won't be too forward with this. "if you like, i could pick you up? you'll be flying into boston logan, yeah?"

"i will be, yeah, but you don't have to do that, if you don't want," was i a creep? "i would really appreciate it, though." i wasn't.

"its no big deal!" i smiled up at him, snuggling into my massive hoodie. "i do, however, have one condition."

"anything," schlatt's voice got more gravely the more tired he got.

"you have to help me grocery shop, i have no idea what you guys like." i'd also just like the company.

"i'd love that."

"hey, um," keeping my train of thought got more difficult as time passed. "what's your phone number? in case you don't get wifi or data at the airport."

"good idea," he grinned a bit as he reached for his phone. "its 878-0914."

i typed it in and sent a tester message.

"you get it?" i asked.

he nodded, and i set his contact before we agreed it was time to sleep. we exchanged goodnights and i turned off my setup before crawling into bed.

tucked into my covers and moments from sleep, i realized;

tonight is the first time i'm not scared to sleep after playing a horror game.