Kiss Off ↣ jschlatt

x: you big goon

johnathan schlatt
23 may

i don't think i've ever had this much fun just running errands.

milo brought me to the only supermarket in town, a run down hannafords that seemed to only have five employees.

"schlatt, can u push the cart for a sec?" she asked, a plotting look on her face.

"um, sure?" i watched as she launched herself into the rickety cart and looked up at me. she had this shit-eating grin on her face, too, like she somehow knew i wouldn't kick her out of the cart.

"shortass." pushing forward, i rolled my eyes at her as she directed me around the unfamiliar supermarket.

"so," she started, "what do you guys even eat?"

embarrassed to expose our neanderthal diets, i pretended to think for a moment.

"well, usually when we're together, we'll go out to eat or order pizza." i said.

she gave half a laugh, "that's not really an option. there's nowhere nice here and the pizza places aren't worth the ride or delivery fees." she paused to think, "we could probably do frozen pizza for a night, though."

"good idea, miles." what the fuck, why do i keep saying that?

she directed me to the frozen aisle, where we grabbed a nearly ungodly amount of frozen pizza.

potatoes and waffle mix were also thrown into the cart, at which point she had to climb out.

after a couple squeals and a 'no i can fucking do it myself you big goon', milo finally caved.

with one of my feet steadying the cart, she put her hands on my shoulders as i braced her back and under her knees to lift her out and to the floor. she grew pink and giggled.

it was kinda cute.

"thanks, schlatt," she rocked on her heels a couple times before leading me to the checkout.

"so i'm thinkin'," she began, "frozen pizza tonight, then waffles, eggs, and hash in the morning, tomorrow night i can make y'all real homestyle fried chicken, and then breakfast on the road the day we leave?"

my mouth salivated at the thought.

"are you sure you're okay with all that cooking? there's a lot of us." seriously, we eat about as much as an entire third-world country.

she laughed, "it won' be that bad! besides, you're crazy if you think i'm not makin' y'all do food prep and cleanup. i'm not feeding eight mouths and doing dishes!"

"you have a fair point," i smiled and helped her unload onto the belt. who knew grocery shopping could be enjoyable?

after she payed, and i made sure to tell her to keep the receipt, it's a buisness write-off.

milo reached up (and maybe i bent down a little) to mess up my hair, cooing, "big smart buisness boy schlatt!"

"stop callin' me buisness boy!" i fixed my hair befofe helping her load the bags into the truck bed. "if anything, i'm a buisness man."

"fine, get in the car, mr. buisiness man." she teased, getting ready to head back.

the ride home was mostly silent, but it was a comfortable silence. the kind of silence where you don't need to say anything because you just appreciate each other's company. there's been so much silence here that i'm not quite used to it yet.

what am i? a fuckin' poet? what was that shit?

i got a text from cooper, who was presumably about to board his flight.

cooper: she didnt like kill u right?

laughing, i read it off to milo.

"that's so mean!" she exclaimed.

"let's send video proof of my vitals," i held up my phone to take a video. i usually never record myself, i'm not sure why i've taken multiple videos today.

probably because i'm simping.

"hi cooper!" she quickly glanced over to my phone, giving a short wave.

grabbing my wrist, she flailed my hand in a jumbled wave, causing me to laugh.

"see? definitely not 'weekend at bernie's'-ing him!"

i ended the video after calling him a cuck, right as we returned to milo's house.

despite my protests, she carried most of the groceries in herself.

"milo, let me help!"

"no," she huffed. "you're my guest! and besides, you've already been so great to me today, don't worry about the groceries."

butterflies? of all people, i'm getting butterflies in my stomach? the longer i'm around her the more i feel like a twelve year old girl.

"so, um," milo said. my head snapped to attention. "what would you like to do today? i was planning on doing a farm tour for all of you tomorrow, but what would you like to do today?"

she yawned and stretched. what do i want to do? it's not like brooklyn, where we could go people-watch at the nearest café, or take the subway somewhere to explore. besides, she seems kind of tired.

"i dunno..." i really don't. "we could watch a movie or play some games? maybe do a just chatting stream?" she perked up to that idea.

"oh, a chatting stream would be so fun!" she grinned across the room from me. "i have to shower first, you're welcome to use the showers at some point, too, of course, and then i can make us lunch, but after all that then definitely!"

talking with her is so easy. i just ramble and she lets me. the guys will talk over me or crack jokes, i've never had someone so interested in what i have to say before, i hope being on stream doesn't affect that.

//

sorry for taking so long! this day's going to take up quite a few chapters, but i don't want to leace anything out. thanks!