Leena's Heart [COMPLETED]

20.

Saturday | 3:15 p.m.
February 15, 2014

Zaine Harrison

Standing outside of the hospital I waited to go back inside not really wanting to be in Leena's room while everyone else was there. Her mom, sister, her aunt Charlotte, Amora, Porsha, Raymond, and Curtis were here. My children wanted to come see her but I promised that I'd bring them tomorrow. I'd told the family that I was heading to the cafeteria but the truth was I just needed some fresh air. I couldn't be in the room with Leena because I knew that looking at her and being in there I'd want to touch her. Hold her. The way I'd probably look at her would give off vibes that we were messing around.

On the 17th of this month she would've been 24 weeks pregnant. I was in complete shock that the triplets had come this early because the doctor had already told us when to expect them. I wasn't the only one asking questions. The whole family was because the babies weren't supposed to be here until she was 33 weeks. That was the earliest she was to give birth to them but for them to come this early made me wonder if they'd be okay. Doctors called them micro-preemies and told Leena that there was nothing to worry about. They said that she was in the clear because babies born between 23 and 24 weeks would live to see life outside of NICU. If they were born before 23 weeks then it would've been a problem because babies born before that time lungs and other organs wouldn't have been developed enough. Since I was the one who'd driven Leena to the hospital I had the opportunity to be in the operating room with her when they did a C-section on her.

The lie to the family was that her water had broke at her house and instead of calling for professional help and waiting a long time for them that she called me because I lived just a few blocks over. I called the family on the way to the hospital so they wouldn't be too suspicious if we didn't contact them the moment her water broke. I'd beaten them to the hospital so my excuse for being in the operating room with her was that since her baby father wouldn't be there and she was scared she wanted somebody there. Just a few days ago I'd heard from Curtis and Raymond that Leena finally told everyone why her "imaginary" baby daddy hadn't been introduced to the family.

Apparently she'd told them that she hadn't spoken on him because when she'd told him she was pregnant he denied the babies being his and said he wanted no parts of raising them. This lying was starting to get out of hand and if the family wasn't suspicious now then I had a feeling pretty soon they would be. I didn't know how much longer we could keep this shit up. Part of me just wanted to go ahead and admit to it just to get it off of my chest. If it was going to have to be like this then we might as well just tell the truth about it. She'd given the kids her last name and there was no father's name listed on the birth certificates. That's what really bothered me. My name was on all of my older children's birth certificates and they had my last name. I wanted that for the triplets too.

Adrian Devon, Andre Michael, and Ariya Celine Parker. My babies. They were so tiny. So innocent in it all. They weren't planned by a long shot but they were wanted. They were already loved long before they'd made it outside of their mother's womb. I didn't want to love them, take care of them, etc. in secret. I was proud of all of my children and loved them openly but to have to love the newborn babies in secret? That really fucked with me.