Stay With Me

Sixteen

I was woken up with the fear that I might not see again, my eyes were puffy and dry, sticky tears prevents my eye lids to part, I needed to take it off with my hands before I managed to see, the walls are intact again, it's not spinning like it did last night-or this morning- you're pathetic, I said to myself. I looked around to find John's alarm clock, and shocked when I saw that I've been sleeping for more than 12 hours. I have manage to put my bra and pants on, before checking myself in the bathroom. As I was expecting, my eyes were puffy, red and messy, I had to wash my face thrice just to take off the dry tears left in my eyes. My cheeks were flushed, that's new, and my lower lip was bruised due to all the biting I did this morning. My neck has one red hickey that I have to cover with my hair before I went out of John's room. I heard everybody was on the porch talking about something that I don't care. I went to the kitchen to make coffee before going out in a state like this.

"What happened to you?" Jared's voice was full of concern and curiosity, I saw John's smirk vanished and Lacy went up to me and hug me, without even knowing the reason why I had puffy eyes.

"Can we uhm go?" I asked Jared, not even looking at Garrett's direction. Too afraid to look at his expression. Too afraid to might not see concern, or care. Jared was up in his seat in a second, everyone's eyes was on me, and Jared squatted infront of me. Asking me to ride his back. I didn't even manage to smile, I just rested my head on his shoulder while he walk us, Lacy following us with Jared's key on hand, to his car he squatted again as Lacy opened the back door for me to hopped in the car. I keep my knees on my chest as I stare at the window facing the porch, where everybody was still staring at me. Now, I have manage to look at Garrett, he's looking at his lap, he stood up and went inside the house. Kennedy and John following him. Jared started the ignition and drove fast to home. Why do I look like such a mess, it's disgusting.

-GARRETT'S POV-

I felt bad about leaving Nike last night, we've almost had sex. I have broken the law of the brocode. I just left a girl in pre-sex. Anyways, I don't care about the rule anymore, I know that she wasn't ready and I will wait. That's how good boyfriends survive right? She won't even remember a thing of what happened last night, she's drunk as fuck. The boys invited me to the porch in the afternoon, to enjoy the nice weather. We talked about a lot of stuff, usually about touring, that, again I felt bad about that one too. But I shrug off the feeling, I waited for my girl to go out and went for my arms, asking me what happened last night and I won't tell her a thing, everything will be as smooth as it was. I smiled at the thought and managed to be in a conversation with Joel.

"What happened to you?" I heard Jared said and like a reflex I saw my girl, Nike, standing there looking at her cousin alone. Her bed hair is all over the place, cheeks flushed and eyes puffy. She's been crying. I told myself. Assuring myself that she'll look at me any minute now, and hug me, I keep on telling myself that I didn't do this to her. How could I? She was drunk last night right? I saw her move without grace and jumped on Jared's back, he carried her in his car, with his girlfriend in tow. I did this to her, I just know it. She didn't even looked at me once. My eyes dropped to my knees as felt the pang of guilt jolt through my joints. Does she thought I just rejected her? But I didn't! I want her, I want her so bad, it's not just the right time. I stood up, everyone's eyes were still on her, and I just can't stand it. I made the only girl (next to my mom) I cared for cry. Nice to go boyfriend, you'll make it to the stupid-awards.

I sat in the living room, putting my head on my hands, feeling the pressure and guilt of what I just did. John and Kennedy followed me, and sat across me.

"What happened bro?" Kenny asked, his voice full of concern. I don't know if I should tell this to them, I know Nike's been friends with them for a while now but talking about our sex life behind her back will make me feel more guilty.