To Alex: A Year After You Are Gone, A Hole Still Remains

Hiding

Why did you feel like you had to hide? We were here for you. We wanted to help you, yet you didn't let us.

Maybe you let some people in, but you didn't let them see all the way inside. You made us think that you were going to be okay.

That the worst was behind us. But the worst was in front of us. Except we couldn't tell because you decided to hide.

To hide behind the smiling face that was you everyday. But behind that smile, was the pain. We didn't know about the pain.

But we did know that you were struggling and then you weren't. We decided that you were okay. That was a huge mistake.

You showed us the you you wanted us to see. The one we thought we knew. We didn't know you, did we? You hid yourself for a reason.

You hid yourself because you couldn't bring yourself to tell people that the problem was bigger than anything. That the problem wasn't on the outside, but on the inside.

Buried so deep no one could penetrate that wall. We tried to penetrate it with no luck. Why were you hiding from us?

Was it because of your past? Your thoughts? Your family? You didn't let us know enough to help you. Did you hide yourself because you thought no one could help you?