It Still Hurts (Jalex)

2

My fingers trembled as they held on tightly to my binder. I couldn't even look anyone in the eyes, simply because I was on the verge of crying. I'd like to think that I don't cry a lot, but lately, that has been proven wrong.

It's because of him that I cry so much. He doesn't believe in me, so I have no choice but to not believe in myself.

With everything in me, I wish I would stop overreacting. Or, I may just use that wish to have never ever met Jack Barakat. Then maybe I would have no reason to overreact. It's just so hard trying to get your life back together after you've been relying on someone else's happiness for so long.

And that's where I went wrong. We were both sad; so being the obsessive person that I am, I put both of our happiness' together to make a whole one, then took it all for myself. This makes me think, was Jack happy during our relationship? I know I was, and so do you.

But whilst giving myself the world, I left Jack with nothing in return. Stupid me, I thought my love was enough to give to someone to stay.

He was my first relationship, so I really shouldn't be that hard on myself. But then again, I managed to fuck up so badly.

"Watch it." My shoulder bumped against a tall guy, looking up, is as the face of Jacks new boyfriend. Murmuring an apology, I pushed down the shiver that attempted to rise inside me. His chiseled face scared me, and I really couldn't see what Jack saw.

Then again, what did Jack see in any of his boyfriends?

For fucks sake, if I have to suppress one more depressing thought, I might shoot myself before this school day is up. The bell for class rung, and I still wasn't even close to the class that I was supposed to be in. Actually, I think somehow I started walking in the opposite direction of said class.

So, saving myself the trouble of having to explain to the teacher why I was late, I simply walked to the closest bathroom and locked myself in the third stall.

The bathroom wasn't busy at all, but sometimes I would hear the occasional flush. Like the sad person that I was, I pulled out the notebook from my backpack and started writing silly little things that held no relevance.

Another pair of footsteps came, this one sounded like multiple at one time. They were stumbling, smacking sounds continuing with each misguided steps. Oh ew, another high school quickie in the bathroom. I hope they don't notice that I'm in here just chillen.

There was a soft bang, and I was just assuming that they had continued this on the bathroom wall. A soft moan escaped one of their mouths, and oh god, did that moan sound so familiar.

I pushed back the small possibility that it could actually be him and continued writting. The sound of a zipped being undone rung through my ears and all I could think of was Jack laying beneath me. This time, I wanted to cry. But I didn't.

Yet again, another sound came to my ears, but this was more of a yelp. A yelp for help. This time I knew who the voice came from, because I've heard him scream before. I kept listening, my legs twitching and ready to lunge if I heard anything more.

"Stop stop stop. You said we were going to take it slow please stop." Jack whispered all in one breath, small grunts coming as someone pushed him. My hand was on the lock, just waiting to stop this from happening.

"Stop." He squeaked, hands fighting. That's when I decided this was enough.

Quickly, I pushed open the stall door and punched Jack's boyfriend right in the jaw. He stumbled and fell on the tile of the bathroom.

"Get the fuck out. Stop means fucking stop, okay." His boyfriend got up, holding his hands up before backing out of the bathroom.

"Why in the hell were you just in the stall?!" Jack yelled. It hurt to here his voice after so long, but I wanted him to talk more. I always wanted him to talk more.

"I was ditching class. Why in the hell are you going out with a fucking prick? " Jack looked shocked.

"He's never done this before. I promise." Jacks voice turned weak. Now I really wanted him to talk more.

"Whatever. Just, forget about this." I sassed, walking out of the bathroom. Class wasn't even close to being out, so I just snuck out and went out the front door. There was a park there, and I could call my sister to pick me up there. I just didn't want to be anywhere around my worst nightmare.