Against The Wall

Chapter Nineteen

The first day back after winter break always sucks ass. Nobody ever wants to be here. Not the kids, and not even the teachers. It almost feels like the first day all over again. It
takes a while to get back in the groove of things. To remember old routines, and for some students, I have to remember their names.

Even worse is the fact I still haven't spoken to Matty. I went from absolutely pissed off to painfully sad, and now I'm just completely irritated he's being such a baby.

He has no idea what he saw and he's not even taking the time to figure it out. I thought maybe he'd meet me in the parking lot as usual and we'd talk on our way to class. But nothing. Then, I thought maybe he'd stop by during lunch. But nothing. I even stayed after school for an extra thirty minutes in hopes he'd visit once all the students went home. Yet, nothing.

On my way to my car, I hear a student whisper to another, "Did you hear Ms. Gelson and Mr. Marino are back together?" I want to stop and set them straight, but I don't. This is really the talk on campus?

————————————

Mel comes over to watch me drag ass all night, wondering how I'm going to fix this. Or if I even want to. She's dragging ass just as much as I am. She misses my brother, and so do I.

"Want another beer?" she asks.

"Do you have to ask?" I try sarcasm, hoping it will snap me out of my funk.

She brings me another bottle and plops herself down next to me.

"See, I told you this wouldn't work. I should have never gotten involved with him in the first place. I knew this was gonna happen. Now, not only do I not have him as a whatever he was, but I don't have him as a friend either. Matty sucks."

"Don't be such a pussy, Shel. First, things are gonna work out. He just needs a minute to understand what happened. Second, if he's gonna be a pussy too, then you don't need him. As a ... whatever it is he was ... or as a friend. Screw 'em."
This doesn't make me feel any better.

———————————

It's Tuesday morning. I arrive and walk to my classroom alone, again. His car was in the parking lot already, which makes me a little bitchy since he didn't wait. Thankfully, being a teacher is like being an actor. From bell to bell, I can
put on a smiley face and pretend I'm in another world. But those seven minutes in between classes really suck when I check my messages, and there's nothing. Or when I check my email, and the only message I have is from my department chair talking about Friday's meeting. I take a quick glance at my cell. One message from Mel checking to see if I've made contact yet. Nope.

Nothing.

I meet Mel in the staff lounge for lunch. I guess I shouldn't be surprised to find Matty's not here.

"I'm gonna kick his ass to Sunday when I see him," I tell her when I reach the table.

She shoves a handful of Doritos in her mouth. "No doubt. I thought for sure he'd be here."

I start to gnaw on some carrots in frustration. "Wanna come over again tonight?" I ask her.

"Girl, we need to chill. This past year of man trouble has really done me in. My party liver can't keep up. I'm like a case of wine away from AA, and you're probably even closer than I am."

For the first time since the new year, I laugh. Out loud.

"You're so right. I was brushing my teeth this morning and I was still burping beer."

"Maybe he'll call tonight," she says, with a weak smile.

But he doesn't. I'm getting sad.

————————————