Ocean Eyes . Jonathan Brandis

Sixteen

Friday
I might be dead by the end of the day but, who knows, maybe the movie might actually be pretty good.

I contemplated skipping school so maybe I could avoid tonight. That was until I realized my dad would be home all day. My aunt and uncle are staying at the hospital this week so my dad could be home with Lily and I. As much as I loved the sound of a daddy daughter day, it was hard to see him fake every smile and laugh. It was all a front he puts on. I could tell my mother's illness was taking a toll on him as well.

I noticed he was still asleep but Lily was already waiting at the door. She enjoyed school for some odd reason. "Did you eat breakfast?" I ask her as I grabbed a banana. "Yea, I have a pop tart stash," she smiles. "And you don't share?" I pretend to be sad. "You're like 15, buy your own," she shrugs. I laugh, not surprised by her wit. "Okay c'mon, Mrs. Brandis can't wait for you all morning," I tell her and she follows me out of the door. I walk her next door and wait for Darcy to greet us. Instead, it was Jonathan. Neither of us say anything after locking eyes. "Y'all are weird," Lily finally says after a moment, breaking our stare. "Lily!" Darcy pushes Jonathan out of the doorway to give her a hug. These six year olds have so much energy in the morning. They run back inside, leaving Jonathan and I alone. "I'll see you at school," I turn to leave the awkward situation. "Grace, wait," Jonathan walks outside, shutting the door behind him. I stop, hesitantly. "Can't I walk with you?" He asks me after a short moment of figuring out what to say. I sigh at his words. Before I could answer, a car pulls up honking. I turn around and see a couple jocks blaring their music. "Jon! Hurry up man! My girls waiting on me!" Someone says from the drivers seat. "Looks like you already have a ride," I force a smile at Jon and start to leave. "Wait!" He says stopping me once more. "Just go ahead without me! I see you guys later," Jon yells back to the car full of jocks. "Whatever man, see you at practice?" They hesitate at first then speed off. I was actually quite surprised that Jonathan did that. "Just one second," he says to me in a hurry before going back inside. Seconds later, he rushes back outside with his backpack and duffel bag. "Alright," he says with a smile. I smile back, a little confused by his decision to walk with me. "I missed our morning walks to school," he says. "Me too," I shrug. "I'm really sorry, Grace," he looks over to me. "Can we just talk about something else," I sigh, not wanting to bring up any drama between us. He doesn't say anything. "Are you going to the drive in tonight?" I'm sure he was but not positive. "Uh, yea," he says hesitantly. "Oh," I respond, knowing that meant he was probably going with Lisa or friends. "Are you?" He asks. "Um, I might," I didn't want to but I'd more than likely be there according to my friends. "With anyone in particular?" He shrugs innocently. "Not really. Sam and then might come," I think it'd be better if I didn't mention Jared. "Oh, that sounds fun," he seemed relieved but not quite convinced. "Yea, what about you?" I return the question as he did before. "Well you know. My friends and Lisa of course," he forces a smile. "Right. Y'all are dating," I force one as well. This couldn't get anymore awkward. "I think it's just for a little bit. Just until the season starts," he tries to ease the tension. "When is that again?" I didn't really care but I didn't know what else to say. "Two weeks," he replies. "Think you'll have a starting spot on varsity?" I ask curiously. "Definitely not," he laughs. "But I'll probably be subbing some games," he adds. "That's good," I smile. "Yea, are you gonna come to the games," he looks over at me, hopeful. "I might catch a few. Gotta be there when Steve plays for JV," I force a laugh. "Right," he answers uncomfortably. "Do you know how he got that black eye? He says it happened during practice," I lie, curious to hear his answer. He doesn't say anything at first. "Didn't know about it. Probably happened during a tackle," he hesitates. "Probably," I sigh in disappointment. "You always see right through me, Grace," he sighs as well. "What do you mean?" I question confused. "You know exactly what happened. I'm not dumb, he's one of your best friends," He laughs at me. "Then you know that what you did was wrong," I wasn't amused as he was. "I didn't do anything. I mean I did, but not what you think," he stops, realizing I was upset. I stop too. "What is it with you jocks? What could he have possibly done to deserve that?" I get angry. "Grace, I didn't do that to him," he starts getting defensive. "Then what happened?" I wasn't calming down. "Would you believe me either way? You always jump to conclusions," he was starting to get upset as well, surprisingly. "Can you blame me?" I try to tone it down. "Look Grace, I know I'm immature and make stupid decisions. But all I'm sure about at this point is you. I'm sorry if I can't do anything right, but I'm not perfect. Not even close, clearly. But I'm not some heartless person who is incapable of feeling anything. I didn't do that to Steve, I stopped it from escalating. And I'm just trying to play my cards right with the team so I can move up and not have to deal with the bullshit that JV does. Lisa means nothing to me. You... you're everything to me. And it sucks not being able to please you every second, but I'm doing my best to get there. I wish you could just see that," he says with frustration. I was left speechless. How could I possibly respond to all of that. "Look, I get it if you still hate me. I deserve nothing from you, but I really just needed to get that off my chest. It's fine if you don't feel the same. I know you're going out with Jared tonight. Everyone does. I hope you have fun, honestly. You deserve the world," he says walking off since we were basically at the school already. I had to process what just happened. I felt guilty, but I was also confused. I think he was finally cracking, and so was I. I couldn't possibly go tonight, not after what Jonathan expressed to me. I felt terrible.

Sam, Connie, and Sarah were waiting at my locker. They're smiles faded once they noticed the confused look on my face. "What's wrong?" Sam immediately asks, concerned. I don't say anything. "Grace, what happened?" Sarah stops me in my tracks. "I can't go tonight?" Was all I could manage to say. "No, no, no. You're not backing out now. Tell me what happened," Sarah says with concern. "What about Jared?" Sam frowns. "I'm not going," I say stubbornly. "Grace, it's okay. Just tell us what happened. We just want to make sure you're okay?" Connie places a hand on my shoulder. She seemed to be the only one with sympathy. I hesitate for a moment. "Jonathan basically just poured everything out to me. It's hard to explain but I can't do this to him," I sigh in frustration. "Grace, it's okay," Sarah could tell I was really upset. "I'm sorry, I just don't think this is the right way. There's just so many things people don't understand," I try my best to hold back tears. "It's okay, this is all stupid really," Sam tries to help. Suddenly, we were interrupted by someone. Laura stood behind me with her usual devilish smile. Not this right now. "How's it going, Gracie? Ready for your date tonight with Jared?" She smirks. What on earth could she mean by that. I don't say anything. "I hear he's looking to score his first virgin," she keeps going. "That is, if you still are one. I thought you were innocent. Looks like that party took care of that," she laughs. "What are you talking about?" Sam gets angry. "You don't know about the rumor of you going home with some college guy after the party? Even I wouldn't just do that with some guy I just met," she looks at me with disgust. "How does that imply anything," Sarah looks at her like she's crazy. "Whatever, I doubt anyone would risk their reputation with you. Might wanna stay clear of Jared though, he's more than you could handle, trust me," she smirks before leaving.

"How can a literal slut, slut shame?" Sam looks confused. "I don't know but I think that was Jared's ex. I remember her being all over him before he started talking to you," Connie says. "No way, Laura!" Sam looks at her surprised. "Yea, I didn't know where I recognized her from until now. She was always with him whenever my brother was with Jared," Connie asks. "Wait, this would be perfect. Grace," Sarah looks at me hesitantly. "I don't know," I look at her indifferently. I knew what she had planned. "Oh cmon, we've always wanted to put Laura in her place. What better way than to actually fulfill stealing her boyfriend. He clearly broke up with her so he could talk to you," she pleads. "Why does every plan you guys have involve using Jared?" I roll my eyes. "He is literally going to be fine, Grace. Connie said it before and I'll say it again, he can have any girl he wants," Sam says, agreeing with Sarah. "I can't do that to Jonathan," I add to my argument. "Just explain to him what you're doing. Besides, he doesn't seem to care for Laura that much anymore," Sarah says, still not fully understanding the extent of my situation with Jonathan. As much as Laura infuriated me, I still didn't see much of a reason to still go through with tonight. "Look at her, you have to," Sarah looks in a direction with disgust. I turn around and see Laura at Jared's locker with him laughing about something. Laura glances in my direction with a smirk before pulling him in for a kiss. He hesitates for a moment before pulling away. He looks around to see if anyone saw their interaction before telling her something with seriousness and walking off. She rolled her eyes at him before flashing a smile at me. "She's literally mocking you, Grace," Sam adds angrily. "Fine, I'll do it," as much as I was against it, I'd do anything to put Laura in her place. "Really?" Sarah smiles. "Don't push it," I didn't agree fully with the plan but for now I was in. "Sorry, I just can't wait to see the look on her face after you've successfully stole her boyfriend who happens to be the most popular and wanted guy in school," Sarah tries to hold back her smile. "You have a boyfriend remember? Steve?" I laugh at her. "Yea, duh. Just stating facts based off of statistics," she shrugs. "We'll be there tonight if you need anything, Grace," Connie gives me an assuring smile. "Thanks. Glad I know I can count on someone to understand this isn't easy," I glare at Sarah and Sam. "Hey, she said we," Sarah defends. "It's a date with Jared O'Brien, sounds easy enough," Sam shrugs making us laugh at her exaggeration with his name again. "Everything will be fine, Grace. You'll always have us to fall back on," Sarah smiles sympathetically. "I know. As stubborn and pressure bearing as y'all are, I still love y'all I guess," I roll my eyes but smile.

Oooh, I'm getting so excited for the date. I hope y'all are too!