The Unnamed Adventures of Chaos

4. The Piglet And The Lamb

- A Star Chapter -

Professor Squidward sat in his lonesome chair, in the lonesome room of a lonesome house upon a lonesome part of the land. It was overshadowed by an army of seal clouds which seemed to follow wherever he went. Strangely enough, these clouds had never brought about a speck of rain, and so waited there for an eternity above the lonesome squid. The desolate land that his fish bowl sat upon was such that no character dared to touch. A single foot that trespassed what was rightfully his and there would be cursed into a life of utter tragedy.

It was a place that he liked to call home.

The Professor finally switched off the television using his right tentacle having just finished the final episode of Claws. A remarkable show from the mortal world, as Squidward described it, with a grand total of 14 seasons. The concluding episode showcased the main protagonist, Anna, as she fought against her rival since Season 1, Episode 1, Asle. It was a daring fight between two felines, battling over the rightful place upon the couch that the two had quarreled about for so many years. Yet finally, when all hope seemed lost, their owner abandoned Asle to the streets and Anna was deemed victorious.

Squidward was on the edge of tears. The world that he had watched unravel before him for so long had finally came to an end. But this was no time for tears, no.

There was work to do.

Wiping his eyes clear, Squidward took both ends of the remote, swiftly pulling it apart to reveal a button upon a plate hidden inside. Afraid to take any second glances at his beloved show, he rapidly hit the button, sending his chair whizzing downwards. The floor closed over him as if nothing were left and he sat back in wonder. So many questions left unanswered... What happened to Asle? Will Anna's love interest who left to see the city a mere five minutes away ever return? It was truly an overwhelming moment for him. Sometimes, he wished that he too could be part of the mortal world, but alas, that was no option for the lonesome squid.

Reaching the sanctum hidden beneath his home, he stood from the chair, his tentacles shaking from the impact of the finale. He slithered through the hallway, scanning each individual vault. 'Tokyo', 'Paris', 'Rome': lurking beneath their doors was each a portal, sending you to the designated location printed upon each. And yet, none of these were the one that he was searching for.

He continued on. Ah, yes, there it was. 'Frylapis'. Squidward quickly twisted to his right, entering the vault with the tap of his nose. There it was: the portal, glistening a bright pink. It reflected the Professor's image. He admired for a dozen seconds or so, before turning to the microphone implanted into the wall to the portal's right. He used his tentacle to push the button, connecting his voice to his two minions.

"Peppa! Timmy! Get yourselves back here, I need emotional support!" Squidward demanded.
"Right away, Professor!!" Peppa called on the receiving end. Suddenly, the young piglet floated through the portal, followed by her lamb companion, crashing into her and making her fall helplessly onto her snout. "Get off of me, you swine!!" Peppa cried, shoving the lamb away from her. He rolled over before regaining his balance, smiling patiently at Squidward.

He did not care for their childish antics, however. He came to light above them and glared with a stern complexion. "How many?"
Peppa's face dropped, although she was the first to answer. "One."
"One?!" Squidward grunted.
"Yes, but I made them into a sheep!" she announced.
"Peppa, we already have a sheep! Susie's a sheep!"

The two had remained as children for as long as Squidward could remember. In fact, they had always appeared to be children staring in their own television shows: Peppa Pig and Timmy Time. Although his dreary heart made him appear as any other friendless man, Squidward wanted world domination. Claws was the one thing that had intrigued him about the mortal world and now he wanted to be its master. Over the years, he had tried countless approaches, like Tokyo and Paris and Rome, but never had he tried the newest country formed in Asia: Frylapis.

The task was not in Squidward's hands, however. It was left up to his two minions who ran their shows Peppa Pig and Timmy Time. Squidward always became amused to watch as the population of children in Frylapis decreased, as their families and friends mourned over their 'deaths'. For Peppa and Timmy, children were easily manipulated. They recognised the two figures and immediately put their full trust into them on sight. So no, theoretically, these missing children were not 'dead'. Peppa and Timmy had simply transformed them into animals, staring them as characters within their shows as their parents watched without a clue that it was their very own child.

The children themselves could not speak out, either, and were forced to endure the life of a character on a screen for all of eternity.

"That's what I kept telling her!" Timmy exclaimed. "Now we have Susie Sheep and Sarah Sheep!"
"And what about you, Timmy?" Squidward enquired.
"I got two!" he announced with pride, despite that two was only one more than Peppa had achieved.
"And?"
"I made them into a rat and an elephant because at least I'm original!"

"What are their names?"
"Daisy and Finlay!"
"You already have a Finlay, even I know that!!" Peppa argued. "You could have at least tried to change their name!!"
"To what?! Mr Elephant?!! At least I didn't make them into an already existing animal, Peppa!!"
"Well I can't keep up with the children I abduct, can I?!!"

"Settle down, both of you!!" Squidward ordered. "When your programme's air tonight, we shall see how terrible you both have done. One slip up and we're done for, alright? Done for. No more fame for you, and no more world domination for me.

Now come on, I still need my emotional support."