Don't Be Silenced

Chapter 1

"Trevor, where's the toothpaste", I yelled making a frowny face as I stood in the middle of the living room with my arms folded.

"It's in the bathroom dum dum", he smiled as he walked up to me and placed a kiss on my forehead,"now wipe that terrible frown off your face, you have no idea what you look like",he patted my hand like I was some puppy dog who wanted a biscuit bone.

I pushed his hand off my head and punched him in the gut.

"Was that suppose to hurt or something ",he chuckled and his white pearl like perfectly arranged set of teeth showed so blissfully and I thought,"damn my boyfriend is so freaking hot".

Trevor Wilson is a tall and muscular guy, he has pure black hair and smooth and well polished skin of a Greek god, he has brown eyes which is responsible for the nickname I gave him,"brown eyes", he was the definition of Black beauty, with those pearl white set of teeth, a well chiseled chin and an amazing body structure, anytime I stood next to Trevor, I looked like a teddy bear next to it's owner. It made me grow a strong love for wearing his clothes, at the moment I was wearing one of his greenish grey shirts, not sure that's the color though.

Trevor was wearing a pair of sweat pants and a tank top, my tank top, which was absolutely not his size but he wore it anyways to show off his incredible biceps and well structured abs of outstanding glory. Trevor had a piercing on his right ear but hardly wore an earring, he had a tattoo on the right side of his chest which made him even hotter when he's not wearing anything at all.

Trevor was every teenage girl's dream guy, that whole cliche hot bad boy turned good to fix a girl's broken heart, except in this case, he was the one broken and I was the one doing the fixing, I giggled a bit at the thought of it.

"So what's making my dum dum laugh ",he eyed me from head to toe.

"Uhm.....nothing",I rolled my eyes.

"Oh really now", he smirked.

"Don't even.....", I barely completed my statement when Trevor grabbed me by the waist and pulled me closer setting his lips on mine. He tightened his grip on my waist and I flung my hands around his neck deepening our kiss, he bit on my lower lip to gain entrance into my mouth, a quiet moan escaped from me in the process, he dug his tongue into my mouth searching for mine, entwining them like a weaver basket, he begun to suck on my upper lip, licking it in the process and moved down to my lower lip doing the same, the sensation of his teeth, lips and tongue was always so overwhelming and set my body on fire.

He moved his lips with his tongue tracing my skin down to my neckline and gently started sucking and leaving soft kisses on my neck, it might be gentle but it always drove me insane, I absolutely loved hickeys. He moved his hands inside my shirt, gently stroking my back and moved his left hand to my breasts, cupping and squeezing it, the moans that escaped from my mouth started getting louder.

I took a deep breath, took his hand off my breast and out of my shirt, he broke off the kiss on my neck.

"NO, hell no, we are not doing this, it's an early Saturday morning Trevor ", I smiled moving a step back to create some distance between us.

"What?, I didn't even do anything ", he giggled.

"Either way just stay away from me", I looked at him with my,"I'm serious" eyes.

"Fine, fine", he raised his hands in defeat and headed to the kitchen to make breakfast.

"I have to learn how to start resisting you very soon", I said walking away.

"Resisting who", he turned back smirking and headed towards me.

"Resist the devil and he will flee from you bitch", I shouted, ran towards the bathroom and locked the door.

I went towards the sink, turned on the tap and used water to rinse my face, I looked at the mirror before me and tilted my neck to the left to see the mark of the hickey Trevor gave me, I kept my head back in place and stared at myself in the mirror, I couldn't look at myself, I felt like my conscience had just transferred itself into the mirror.

I absolutely loved Trevor with all my heart, didn't tell him though, but I loved God too and I was actually a strong christian, you can't please God and please man at the same time, but honestly I didn't know who I was pleasing at the moment, because I didn't understand or in other words I didn't know if what Trevor and I were doing was wrong.

I hear pastors in church say sex is an abomination when your not married and they quote bible books like exodus chapter twenty which states adultery and fornication are also abominations, which is like bible terms for sex, technically, Trevor and I aren't having sex, we just touch each other a bit, actually he touches me most times, I barely do anything but moan, but it still make me feel a bit of guilt, but then I ask myself," why am I feeling guilty", the Bible is against sex before marriage right?, and what Trevor and I mostly do is touch, honestly I am confused because I don't know if what we are doing is right or wrong, the sad part is I have no one to tell me if it is right or wrong, so I'm just lost in confusion.

Pastors preach don't have sex and all....

But no talks about what happens when you already have, they preach NO SEX till your married, but sex is when a man's dick enters a woman's vagina, so things like blowjobs, handjobs, hickeys, Breast fondling and heads, are they considered as a sin or not.

Anytime I thought about these things I always get even more confused, I looked at myself in the mirror and muttered.

"Who the hell is gonna answer these questions ".

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Heyyyyyy , it's Just A Queen
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