BABYDOLL // JJ Outer Banks

thirty-four

trigger warning (again): self-harm

"holy shit," hannah muttered as the group stared after john b's retreating figure.

pope shook his head. "there's no way. it can't be."

"he's probably just tripping, right?" jj turned to his friends.

"sounded pretty serious to me," kie snapped.

it wasn't long before an argument broke out. pope, jj, and kie were all yelling over one another, each under the impression that their opinion was the correct one. hannah pressed the palms of her hands against her ears, trying desperately to drown out their voices, but to no avail. with the three's bickering, she was easily able to slip away into the chateau and shut herself in the bathroom. the trembling of her hands caused her to nervously fumble with the different items in the medical cabinet as she scrambled to find something to distract her from the onslaught of thoughts echoing through her mind. a sigh of relief escaped her lips when she found john b's razor, not hesitating to swiftly snap the blade out of its protective plastic covering. after turning on the shower, hannah gave the door a brief glance, deciding to lock it before stripping and moving to stand under the steady stream of water. clenching her eyes, she slowly raised the blade to her already butchered wrist before making a series of long slices. a small laugh left her lips as she watched the water mix with her blood, tinting the white tiled floor a violent shade of crimson. tears began dripping down her cheeks, a loud sob reverberating from her chest. the pent-up rage and anguish pounded against the walls of her heart, begging to be released. heavy waves of emotions shook her body as she felt her tough exterior begin to crumble.

"hannah!" a loud scream caused her to instinctively clamp a hand over her mouth, attempting to muffle her cries.

jj banged his fist against the bathroom door, pleading to be let in, but received no response. without a second thought, the blonde threw his body into the door, causing it to splinter and collapse into a pile of rubbish. picking himself off the floor, jj didn't hesitate to step into the shower and envelope the crying girl in his arms, too focused on comforting her to  be fazed by her un-clothed appearance and the water soaking his clothes.

"i'm sorry. i'm so sorry," the naked girl sobbed into jj's chest.

jj shushed her, rubbing small circles against the small of her back with his thumb. "no, no, babydoll, i'm sorry." they stood there for a few moments before the boy pulled back to stare into her eyes, refusing to let his eyes drift anywhere without her consent. while maintaining eye contact, jj gently picked up both hannah's hands in his, allowing his gaze to roam over the large gashes in her skin. "oh, babydoll," he whispered.

a soft whimper left her lips as jj lightly brushed his fingers over the cuts that had already scabbed over. "i'm sorry."

"why?" jj's voice cracked as tears began to pool in his ocean blue eyes.

"i just- i felt so worthless," hannah choked out. "it made me feel alive."

the two stared at each other for a moment before jj broke it to look back down at the wounds. he slowly raised her wrist to his face, placing a light kiss against the deepest cut.

ugly sobs shook her body as she watched jj kiss each of the gashes. small bits of skin and blood clung to his lips, but he never moved to wipe them away, his attention too fixated on the slits on her wrists. with the water from the shower, almost all of hannah's makeup had washed away, revealing the dark bruises and welts that littered her body. jj stared at the largest one on her ribcage, the sickly purple discoloring clashing vehemently against her honey skin, as he peeled his shirt off to present to her his father's own lacerations.