Novice in Love | on hold

Five

ELLIE

Oh my god. I hate talking on the phone with people. I always get super awkward and my voice goes high like I inhaled helium or something. Should I lie and say I can't? What excuse should I use then? It has to sound believable... This is why you're socially awkward, Ellie, I scold myself. You need to step out of your comfort zone. Venture out into the unknown. 

"Why do you look constipated?" Jenna asks from her desk, somehow noticing my facial expression. "Do you need to take a dump?" she cracks up from the thought. "I can let you borrow my poo pourri."

"Jenna. I have a more dire matter to handle than going number two," I groan. "Bryan wants to call me!"

"Bryan? The weird guy who made a bad joke you didn't like that you tutor?" 

"YES." 

"How did he even get your number?" Jenna asks in confusion, turning around in her seat. "You're stingy with your phone number. I had to earn it from you like everyone else, and you're telling me you just gave it someone you just met a few days ago?" 

"I told him." Why did I even do that? Regrets, regrets, regrets... "I didn't think he'd actually use it this soon! Or at all!"

"Just tell him you can't pick up the phone right now then. Easy peasy." 

"How should I phrase it to sound as natural as possible?" I ask while jumping out of my chair and bringing my phone to her. "Help me word it." Anything and everything could be misunderstood and misinterpreted through text. I needed my reason to seem as legit as it possibly could be.

Jenna bursts out laughing at my reaction. "You shouldn't have given your number in the first place then. You totally deserve this. Shouldn't have been weak to his visuals." She tsks at me. "Serves you right."

"Jennaaa," I plead. "You're the only one who can help me now." 

"Fine, fine. I'll forgive your moment of weakness." She holds out her hand for me to give me her phone. "Let the pro handle this."

I place it onto her open palm. "Bless you." She opens the messaging app and starts typing up a draft, so I lean over her shoulder to read what she's writing. [Sorry, I can't. My cell phone does not have the function to go on calls.]

"Dude! That sounds like an obvious lie!" I pull the phone out of her hands as she laughs again. 

"Ellie, Ellie, Ellie. Since when was I a good texter?" she shrugs her shoulders at me and turns back to face her desk. "I don't know how you got that impression but you are mistaken."

"You!" I look down at my phone and gasp when I see that Jenna already pressed send. "JENNA KIM, YOU ARE DEAD TO ME." I point at her accusingly while my brain instantly begins brainstorming ways to remedy this atrocity. 

"Don't worry. He'll think you're funny and forget that he even wants to call you," she smirks. "All part of my grand plan. You're welcome."

"You'll feel my wrath after I take care of this." I sit back down on my chair and hunch down to stare down at my screen. It was sent two minutes ago but still no response. What must he be thinking now? I run my fingers through my hair in frustration and embarrassment. I wish I could undo that message. 

I send an additional text and face my phone down. 

[I meant to send that to someone else, sorry! Please ignore that.] 

Five whole minutes pass and there is still no peep from him. Instead of wasting my name stressing over that disaster, I force myself to get back to the chapter I was reading. 

+++

Bryan finally answers half an hour later. [It's cool. Sorry to hear about your crappy phone, though.] 

I hold back a laugh. Did he actually believe in that? I quickly text back. [It's not true. Just a joke with a friend.]

[Lol I know. Just wanted to be joke around with you. Hope my joke this time is okay?]
[Your friend is lucky to be on the receiving end of your jokes.]

Is that a compliment? Why does he become mischievous and then serious so randomly? I couldn't even tell if he was seriously joking or just pretending he didn't just believe my B.S. text.  

A new text comes in as I over-analyze his previous texts. [So if your phone works just fine with calls, can I call you?] 

So I am back to square one then. Jenna did nothing to help at all. Her message just temporarily distracted him. I let out a sigh. What should I do... I think for a bit and come up with a response. [Sure, but you have a time limit. 5 minutes.] I give myself an imaginary pat on the back for such a smart reply. This is a good compromise. 

Less than a minute after it sends, my phone lights up with an incoming call. From him. 

I inhale and clear my throat before swiping to accept the call. "Hello?" I hope that my voice sounds normal and not too deep or high from his end. I look over to check if Jenna heard me and not to my surprise, she did. I swear this girl's ears are fine tuned to hear gossip.

Her eyes are wide and her gaze turns questioning. "You're talking to him?" she mouths to me. 

I give her a quick nod and right when I am about to say more, I hear him. 

"Hey," he says. His voice sounded even more attractive via phone. A deep and comforting tone. "Sorry to bother you when you're working," he adds, sounding actually apologetic. 

"No worries. I am only giving you five minutes of my time anyway," I say, not wanting to make him feel bad. I was his tutor after all. "Go ahead and ask whatever you need to ask. Your five minutes start from now." Jenna is by my side now, doing her best to eavesdrop on our conversation. 

"Okay, so I have this paper. I forgot to bring it up during our session today."

"Uh-huh." At this moment, Jenna impatiently whispers, "What does he want?" I shush her and try to push her away at this point because she was distracting me, but she doesn't give up easily. I have no choice but to turn my attention back to Bryan.

"I am a little confused on how to start this paper," he admits. Is that a trace of embarrassment I hear in his voice? "Could you make me an outline by any chance?"

"Like a general outline?" 

"No, like outlining what content should be added where and stuff..."

"Uh..." I trail off cause I know it is not allowed. Tutors are not supposed to do the work for their students. We only serve as guides who push them in the right direction. "We'll have to work on it together."

"That's the thing. I just found out it's an hour before our session on Friday, which mean we won't have any time to work together. It's probably against the policy but I wanted to ask anyway if you could give me an outline of some sort." He sounded so desperate over the phone that I felt kind of bad.

Not bad enough to break the rules for him though.

"I can't just do all the work for you, Bryan," I tell him steadily. "As a tutor, I am only supposed to give you the push when you're stuck, not push you all the way to the finish line." I don't include an apology because it is not something I should feel sorry about. He's basically asking me to do his paper. 

Jenna gives me a thumbs up and backs away from me. "Update me after," she mouths. 

"I understand," Bryan replies. 

"Great." I can't believe a third-year student wanted me to essentially help him cheat. How did he even get this far in school? He seemed like a pretty smart person during our session. "Is that all? You still have three minutes."

"Don't misunderstand, Ellie. I wasn't planning to cheat or anything. Just had to ask to see what's allowed and not allowed."

Hm, that was not shady at all. "Right. So any other questions? Only one minute left."

"I-" he hesitates.