Novice in Love | on hold

Fourteen

ELLIE

The person I walk into isn't anyone I know. I have never seen him before. 

"It's okay," he says without so much as a glance at me and continues walking the direction he was heading to. 

I shrug off the encounter, ignoring the speck of disappointment I feel inside, and keep walking to where my car is parked. What was I even hoping for? Who was I expecting? Get your head together, Ellie, I chastise myself. This isn't a book or drama. Coincidences don't just keep popping out everywhere with guys you are interested in.

When I spot the unmistakable grey-blue of my Toyota a good two or three feet away, I take out my car fob from my backpack and prepare to unlock the door. 

My phone chimes at that moment, but I don't check it even though I want to, and get inside my car. Without even checking Google Maps, I already know the traffic rush is already pretty bad now. I don't need a distraction that will cost me some precious minutes that could be used to get on the road. I hated getting stuck in traffic almost as much as I hated people not turning on their blinkers.

I quickly connect my music to the speakers after putting my backpack down and start the engine to get going.

+++

Busy with cooking dinner and doing my assignments once I get back to the apartment, I don't remember about the notification until I hear my phone chime again. 

I reach for it and unlock my screen to see what notifications are there on my status bar. 

Besides the ones about alerting me of emails in my inbox and social media posts of idols I follow that have been silenced, I don't see any with the time stamp from this afternoon around when I was in the parking lot. I must have unconsciously swiped the previous notification away at some point between then and now.

I open up my messaging app to see if the notification is from there and sure enough it is. There is a new text from none other than Bryan. I see a short preview of his message but it does not disclose much of its contents, cutting off where it begins to get interesting. 

[Hey, sorry to bother you again. Can you help me with---]

I pause to think about what he might be needed help with, remembering what he asked for last time we texted, and slowly click to open the entire message thread in apprehension. He better not ask again or I'll cut him off for sure.

[Hey, sorry to bother you again. Can you help me with some proofreading?]

Phew. Just proofreading. That wasn't anything strange or sketchy. I can do that much. I find that I am relieved he didn't ask for something that would force me to stop meeting him and reply. [Sorry for the late reply. I can help you if you still need it]

He responds faster than I expect as if he was waiting. [What's your email? I'll send the file over]

[Can I ask what it is for first?] I need to double check the material is related to business writing and that is it his own work before proofreading virtually. 

[Business obviously] 

I stop and reread that text a few times, trying to figure out what kind of tone he meant to send it in. It sounded sassy the first time, teasing the second, and annoyed the third. There was no punctuation or emoji to clue me in on what he is trying to come off as. Why does he have to be so ambiguous? I scratch my head in frustration.

I ultimately decide to say after much thought. [Can you please give me more details on the prompt?]

[Sure. Let me take a screenshot of it]

Several minutes pass before I receive it. I open it and read through it. It was a prompt for a lower division business writing class I took last semester. He should've have taken this class already as a prerequisite for some of the writing ones he was already taking now. [Did you send the correct one?] 

Bryan is silent again for a few moments before a text comes through from him. [Oh sorry, my bad. That is an old one. I'll send it now]

I flip through my agenda to check when my exams are while I wait. I had two exams next week overlapping on the same day, one the week after, and my last two the week after that one. I get stressed just from looking at the exam dates and thinking about how much I have to study for them so I quickly push it away. That is stress for another day when I start working on study guides. 

[Here] Another picture is attached this time and I take a careful look at it. The prompt this time makes more sense with his classes even though he was a bit behind. 

[So you just need me to proofread?]

[Yep]
[I've been struggling to convey my ideas and just finished. I want to know what you think]

[Can this not wait until Wednesday?]

[No it is due at midnight] 

I can't believe this guy. It was already 10:30 PM now. [Procrastinating I see..]

[😬Yeah my fault but please help a guy out?]

I don't even get a chance to respond when he sends another text where he offers to pay me. He must be pretty desperate for my feedback, I think to myself. 

[Alright BUT you have to promise to stop procrastinating. I won't help you next time]

[Thank you so much Ellie! What's your email?]
[I'll send the file to you now.]

I text him my school email address and open my inbox on my laptop to wait for it. 

+++

I end up spending more time than I'd like helping Bryan with his paper up until five minutes before the due date at midnight. He kept asking for clarification, if this is better or that, and I felt bad to say no. Curse the softhearted me. 

[Thanks again, Ellie. I just turned it in.]

I send a thumbs up emoji, hoping that ends the conversation. There was a nagging feeling that he was just using me. As a tutor, which wasn't exactly wrong of him to do, but I thought the funny side of him he showed me was a sign of something more?

[When are you free? I'll treat you to lunch or something.]

[It's nothing. Just my job as your tutor]

[You stayed up to help me, so that's something. You're doing more than a typical tutor.]

My heart skips a beat. Such a sweet talker. [You're just saying that]

[No really. I am thankful and I'm serious about treating you]

[Let's talk about this another time. I have to go] I send in a rush and turn my phone face down. It was cowardly of me not to neither reject or accept his offer but I couldn't tell if he was sincere or just being courteous. Only time will tell if he remembers it.