Change my Heart, Change my World, Change me

Chapter 35: Aoi's self monologue ~Epilogue~

Aoi's Pov 

It feels like a dream. What happened a lifetime ago in another timeline. I died. Killed by Uncle Ra who I didn't know that he was my Uncle yet. Witnessed Kii being violated by someone I respected so much. Losing her. Then I was given a second chance to protect her.

The first time I came back in time, I never thought about how I did that. I thought it was a miracle. I knew about the ritual, but I haven't had a chance to research it. I thought I was lucky. I never questioned it anymore. I was just happy that I can protect Kii now.

It was because of him, huh? Arzen said that it was Arzen that had sacrificed his own soul to make me come back in time. Eh, hold on... Arzen said that it was Arzen... Er... It kind of making me confused. I mean this Arzen said that the Arzen from before... No, it doesn't sound good either. Hmm...

Okay, Portgas D Ace said that it was Arzen that did the ritual with the help of the keeper. Yeah, that sound better.

That time when I followed him and saw him in Kii's prison, they just finished drawing the magic circle and doing the blood ritual. The keeper also gave his own life force to make sure Arzen had the strength until I came to him. He knew I would follow him. He knew if I was about to die, I also would want to die in the place where Kii was gone.

So they purposely made the ritual there. As soon as I come near Arzen, the ritual was completed. That was why I found Arzen died when I reached him. 

I guess I should thank him? I don't know. I still hate him. I admit that he was a genius. Even in that condition, he still noticed my hatred toward him. I also admit that his love for Kii was also genuine, but I still not able to completely forgive him. Whether he wanted it or not, whether it was his fault or not. It still the truth that he made Kii sad and suffered. 

Knowing that Kii was pregnant that time made it worse. My heart hurts so much. Arzen, this Arzen, er, Ace asked that why would I want to know about it. He said it might be just his imagination. He said that even the Arzen in his dream also said that all of it was an illusion. Arzen, no, Ace believed that the Arzen he met there was real though, strangely so did I.

Like Arzen, um I mean Ace. Damn! It hard to talk about the two Arzen. I will just call this Arzen, Ace to differ them. 

So I was saying that like Ace, I also would like to believe that the Kii that was suffering there was finally found happiness with her own Arzen and their baby. Why? I guess I just want to make myself feel better. Deep down, I still can't let go of this guilt. Because even if this Kii is happy, past Kii was suffering. And even if it is not happening, would never happen, has been erased, it still existed in my memory. I can't let it go.

So, I really was happy when Ace said that he asked Arzen if he was happy, and his answer that said that he was happy with his Kii and their baby. Hence, I know he said he was living in his own illusion but still, he and Kii is happy. That is good enough rather than nothing.

I renew my promise to myself that this time I will protect Kii's happiness.

Today, Kii looks so happy. My baby sister is getting married. She looks gorgeous in her wedding dress. Her face is glowing with happiness.

This Kii smiles more. This Kii is strong. This Kii is happy.

As they said their vow, I feel tears flowing on my cheeks. Ether-sama, I am so happy. With this, I think I finally able to let go of my past. I won't forget it. What happened in the past. The Kii that suffered so much. The Arzen that had to lose his own beloved and sacrificed his own soul so she could have another chance to be happy. The keeper that had atoned his regret for not helping her. I won't forget them. I will keep them in my heart, in my memory. But it won't become a burden to me. It would become a reminder of what my promise is. Reminder to a mistake that I vow not to repeat.