Daryl Dixon x reader (TWD fanfic)

Chapter Three- English Major

Day 196

I've officially met everyone, although Daryl is the only one I talk to. He had an interest on reading everything I write. Hell, most days he watches me. Sometimes he will sit with me while I reread this. His constant watching scares me. Maybe he is waiting for a chance to kill me? Honestly, maybe. I think I trust him. He hasn't killed me and I doubt he will. Ever. I don't know though, he is... well Daryl. Daryl Dixon. He let the group I found get pushed out, but for some god forsaken reason he made sure I stayed. Maybe, just maybe he has a motive. At least that's what Trenton would say. I trust him. To say the least.
The group still has arguing issues, it's funny. I try not to laugh but, the solutions tend to be simple. In fact easier than simple. It kills me to watch them argue. What if they all just, got along? Shocking.

The ceiling doesn't move, it hasn't for god knows how many years. Depends on the structure. I've been watching the ceiling in this room for about twenty minutes when Daryl finally came in and sat on the bottom bunk.

"You awake?" Daryl sounded annoyed, maybe pissed, maybe just tired. I spun myself sideways on the bed and leaned down looking at him.

"Always." A smile pulled at my lips and I wrapped my hands around the bar of the bed and flipped my body off it.

"You don't talk a lot. You do think a lot though." Daryl stood next to me. I took the chance to examine his height. 5'10 maybe 5'11 he isn't very tall, but taller than me.

"I know." I nodded and looked up at him. The dark room caused shadows to fill both our faces. I couldn't make out the look on his face. I took a step back and found him taking one too. I had my back against some kind of nightstand and I placed my hands tightly on the edge of it. I inhaled deeply and Daryl dropped his forehead on my shoulder. "You okay?"

"Shut up." Daryl slowly wrapped his arms around my waist. He was like a baby, a very big baby. I let one hand off the nightstand and gently patted his back. I haven't spoken in years let alone touch someone like this, not unless it was a walker. He just clung onto me.

"Daryl," I whispered and he realized he was touching me he quickly pulled back and shook his head. He looked at me sighed and started to leave. I stopped him, grabbing his hand I pulled him back to face me. "Daryl, what's wrong?"

"You aren't my English teacher so don't ask me." Daryl tried to pull away but, I shook my head and didn't let him.

"That's because I'm an English Major, now. What is wrong?" I slowly let his wrist fall from my hand, Daryl stepped back and sat on the bed.

"That's the longest sentence you've said to me." Daryl chuckled and patted the bed next to him. I sat down and studied his face. "What happened before us?"

"Why?" I know why. I've been waiting for this question since the minute I was moved in here.

"I don't get it. I read the two filled journals, the current one too. I don't get it. Leah, Mackerel, Trenton, Lilian, Sam, who are they? What happened to them?" Daryl looked at me with curiosity lining his words. I sighed.

"It was a long time ago," I grabbed my knees and pulled them to my chest. Maybe, another time, maybe right now is the only time I'll be able to tell him. Ever. "They were..."

———

Five years ago, almost to the day.

"Sammy Sam!" I yelled while I ran towards her tent. I figured she was asleep, like always.

"What the hell do you want y/n!" Sam's voice startled me. I slowed down and gently started to unzip the tent. "Y/n! No!"

"Why! You said we could go out together today!" I yelled in a whiney voice. Sam moved around in the tent said something and then unzipped the tent to look at me.

"Quit being childish. You are thirty." She glared at me and pulled back into the tent.

"Who you got in there? Trenton? Oh I bet he is in there!" I smiled and Sam quickly zipped up the tent. "I love you Sammy! I love you Trenton!"

"Love you too!" I heard Trenton yell back and Sam hit him. I laughed and skipped off to the trailer. When I opened it I saw Leah and Mackerel basically sucking each other's faces off.

"Gross." I laughed and Leah threw a pillow at me. They pulled apart and Lillian came running at my voice.

"Aunty!" Lillian jumped up and I somehow caught her. "Today, is my ninth birthday. Fun fact."

"Nine! Already?" I pulled her onto my hip and smiled at her. "Didn't you just turn four?"

"No!" Lillian pulled on my hoodie. Pulling it up so it rested perfectly on my shoulder. "When are we going home?"

"Well-" I looked at Leah who was sucking Mackerel's face off again. "One day bug."

"Okay. Can we get me new shoes?" Lillian kicked her foot up to show me her black tennis shoes that had been torn up for the last year.

"Of course. Anything for the birthday girl. I'll go out and get them today. Okay?" I smiled and set Lillian down.

"Okay! Can you go now? I'd like them soon." Lillian held her nose up and a smile back. I laughed and nodded.

"Of course." I reached over and grabbed the gun on the counter. "Leah Marie! Watch Lillian I'll be back in no more than two hours." I nodded at Leah and she went back to the making out. I rolled my eyes and started to leave. "Sam! Trenton! I'm heading out. I'll be back soon. Watch Lillian."

"Bye!" Sam yelled as she climbed out of the tent. I got in one of the cars and drove off. We lived about fifteen minutes outside of town. I made my trip quick, speedy, I got to the store grabbed a pair of shoes that looked big enough, some supplies, and then started back. I saw another car parked not far away from the camp. I rushed down and I saw a massacre. Sam, Leah, Trenton, Mackerel. They all were just, there. Laying there. Dead. Leah was still breathing, barely. I couldn't move. Watching them. Looking at them. My family. My brother and sister. Sam, Mackerel. My brother-in-law, my sister-in-law. Leah, Trenton. I slowly approached the bodies. Leah's half alive body reached for me.

"Y/n..." Leah grabbed my foot. I dropped on my knees. "Lillian- sh- t-trai-tr-" She started coughing blood. I nodded. "Trailer."

"I love you guys." I whispered and then I reached for my knife. I squeezed my eyes shut and I stabbed each of them in the head. They all had bullets through them, Trenton had three arrows sticking out of this throat. I heard banging on the trailer door. I couldn't, if it was Lillian... as a walker... I would... I couldn't. "Lillian... if that's you... alive... say something."

"Aunty!" The sound of the tiny voice peeked my attention. I swung open the door and there Lillian was, alive, healthy. I pulled her into the biggest hug I've ever held. I held her so close.

———

Present day

"What happened to Lillian?" Daryl was holding my hand, and I was laying in his lap. For some reason I felt safe.

"One morning, I woke up and she was gone. I looked everywhere. Followed her tracks for three days, lead me nowhere. At a point I got lost, gave up." I swallowed hard and sat up.

"How long ago was that?" Daryl still was holding my hand. I didn't notice until I went to put them both in my lap.

"Three years, ten days, and about fifteen hours." I blinked and nodded at Daryl.

"I'm sorry." Daryl leaned on my shoulder. He chuckled to himself a bit. "Makes all my problems seem small."

"That's the thing with problems." I chuckled and leaned my head on his slightly. "They are all are real, even if it's just a paper cut. Now will you tell me what's wrong?"

"How do you see life?" Daryl sighed and fiddled with my hand. I shrugged. 

"Life is just another thing I have to do." 

"I think, I am meant to be in your life. You're meant to be in mine. For some reason, from the minute I met you I didn't want to lose you. Making you leave the farm hurt, like a stab wound." Daryl sat up and looked at me, I looked at him and I felt it. The feeling of being afraid, happiness, the light at the end of the tunnel. It was like looking at someone I've known for years. My stomach dropped and my heart grew bigger. It was like I'd finally found, home.