Phases of the moon

Xavier Ater

Usually when people hear my name they tend to become scared. I don't know why, I'm a pretty nice guy.
Maybe it's because of the rumours.
Rumours that I killed my father and spared my mother's life because she was with child.
That's not true. I paralysed my father, I didn't kill him. Plus my mother is not with child. Anymore. Now before you go thinking I killed the baby, I'm not insane. That baby was going to be my sibling. She had a miscarriage. It's always been hard for my mother to have children.

Before you get all judgey he totally deserved it. After abusing me for years on end and repeating "you'll never be good enough" it does something to you.

I earned my Alpha title, I deserved that.
I was good enough to make him regret his actions.

I don't think I have a mate. I'm twenty two she was meant to appear years ago. The moon Goddess definitely saw what I did and cursed me.
We don't have a good relationship.

My mother means everything to me. Of course she hates me because I paralysed her mate but that won't stop me from loving her. She defended me each time my father hurt me and I will forever be grateful for that.

My beta Josiah is certain that I have a mate. He says he has dreams that predict the future.
He's lying. I don't believe in any of that shit.
He tells me about how she has hair like fire and she's beautiful. That resulted in a punch because even if I haven't met her I don't appreciate my Beta speaking of my mate in that way.

My last name means Black. My fathers soul really matches his name, I guess mine does too considering I've scarred him for life.

Sometimes Josiah's dreams come true but I would never admit that to him he'd get too excited.
I also secretly wish his dream would come true. I would like for one person beside Josiah to believe I'm a good person. Just one.

Sometimes I like to fall asleep to the sound of waves crashing. They're so powerful and loud but most of the time unsuspecting. I used to be like that, then my parents truly started to hate me and now I just keep my mouth shut in fear of offending them even more. 

If or when my mate shows up I'd like for her to be her. Not changing or conforming to other people's standards. I want her to love me the way I already love her.