Support Systems(Laurinah)

5

I blinked my eyes open slowly, still groggy it took me a bit to realize that it was still night time, the moon light shining gently through my open window. I frowned realizing the other side of the bed was cold. I sat up and ran a hand though my disheveled hair, looking around my eyes adjusted to the darkness, seeing no one in the room. I looked back out my window a small sigh escaping my lips when I realized where the tall girl had went.

I debated going up there to talk to her, she clearly wanted her own space. I should respect that. Yet I couldn't stop the lingering worry that led me to getting out of bed, blanket still wrapped securely around me, and tiptoeing across her room and stepping out into the chilly air.

A bit of weight was lifted off my chest as I saw the young Tongan sitting there, crisscrossed with her knees pulled to her chest, her back to me. I padded toward her slowly and said nothing as I took a seat next to her. If she noticed I was there she didn't acknowledge it her gaze still off in the distance. I could only guess where her mind was.

I took the time to admire her features. The way the moon light seemed to fall on her perfectly, her caramel skin that look incredibly soft. The way her full lips were parted slightly showing a glimpse at her pristine perfect teeth.

I also saw the way her face seemed to fall. The prominent dark bags under her eyes. A tired look that I've been seeing for a while but only now being able to make it out. She had done a good job of trying to hide it. I knew she wasn't ok, but what could I do? She said she needed time, that's all I could do. Even though I wanted nothing more than to sweep her into my arms and hold her, pepper her face in kisses of reassurance.

" Do you think my dad is up there?" The question pulled me out of my thoughts. I followed the girls sight and was met with the sight of small twinkles from stars light years away, the sight was almost as breathtaking as the one next to me.

" I think he is." I responded with no doubt in my head. Gordon was a good man, he never did anything over top but he was just a man that radiated good. He always left a room better than when he entered it. I'm positive that if anyone deserves to go up there, its him.

"Do you think I'll be up there one day? Get to see him again?" I frowned and had to immediately get rid of the thought of Dinah gone out of my head. Why would she be thinking that? She doesn't want to... She would never do something like that. The thought of Dinah taking her own life felt like the ground being swept up from underneath me, the feeling at the top of a roller coaster where you're looking down and all you feel is fear and your heart is beating out of your chest. I tried to remain calm and my voice even, the last thing anybody needed was two emotionally unstable girls sitting dangerously close to the edge of a roof.

"Dinah, why would you ask that? Are you, do you want t-"

"I was a terrible daughter Lo." She cut me off, the now familiar sight of her glistening tears twisted my heart. A single tear ran down her cheek, it took a lot in me to not wipe the tear away. I settled for hesitantly placing my hand on her knee, taking it as a good sign when she didn't flinch or pull away.

"You weren't a bad daughter D" I tried to reassure her, yet I could tell my words weren't really registering with the young Tongan.

" Laur, you don't get it, once he was put in the hospital, near the end. It was like I cut him out, I rarely went to visit him, and ... and before he was admitted I had promised him he wouldn't be alone." She stopped to take a deep breath, my hand at some point had found hers and my thumb was gliding over her knuckles. " I wasn't even there when he, when he passed. We all knew it was coming, he knew it was his time. He had said he wanted me to be with him, but I couldn't do it Lauren. I ran, sat right here on the roof till the sun came out."