Second Person (The Diary of Addison Montgomery)

Second Person, Twelve

Second Person, Twelve

You see her by the stairwell again, this time you don't run her over, you just stop next to her. Meredith Grey is bawling her eyes out, and you think you might just know why. The bastard. How the hell did you marry him once, anyway?

As it turns out, she tells you that her dog is probably dying, and that Derek Shepherd wants to have him put down, and that she's not sure she can cope with the loss.

"What's your dog's name?" You ask lamely.

"Doc." Meredith answer bluntly.

"As in...?" You answer, trying to think of an ending that is not 'Doctor'.

"We really just call him McDog," Meredith tries to explain to you.

"Right," you try to show compassion without being overbearing.

"We being Derek and I and my intern friends. Because he lives at our house. Or he did until he didn't have enough space. So now he lives at the trailer on Derek's land. And I never got to be around for most of the end of his life," Meredith cries out, in tears.

You're surprised she hasn't already practically moved in with Derek, but then again, it is really far from the hospital.

"I'm sorry," you say because you're supposed to say that.

"He has CANCER," Meredith articulates. "He has BONE CANCER," she adds. "She has THE SAME CANCER AS THE PATIENT WHO DIED THE OTHER DAY!"

And now you see that Meredith is really, really crying hard.

And all you want to do is console her. But you don't want to take advantage of her vulnerability and touch her more than she wants to be touched.

But then she leans into you. And her head is on your shoulder. And she's crying.

And you just sit there in the stairwell for a while- as you both avoid Derek- because you know he hates taking the stairs. He's probably in the damn elevator, anyway.

You sort of wish that you got to have a shared dog with Meredith. That would be really nice. But you don't. Doc is not your doc, he's only Derek and Meredith's. And the interns'.

And you wish Meredith was there when you cried so you could lean on her shoulder. But you decide that this is enough for you now. That the brief comfort you can offer her, in the form of a shoulder will keep you going for days on end, as you tread through the world where normally she doesn't need you for anything beyond a simple "hello" other than being just another student at work.

-Addison Montgomery

In her personal diary. This time there's a doodle of a dog on the page. It sort-of does look like Doc, actually.

****** END OF CHAPTER TWELVE

Other Author's Note:

In this universe, Addison does not share their McDog because she was sort of out of the love triangle by then.

bobbiejelly

And of course, onto the dedications:

Ao3:

Thanks to Arahneia for the lovely words and Also, of course, thanks to AddisonAddek and LordOfLezzies, all on Ao3

AddisonAddek for wanting more and commenting (a heck-ton) today, plus LordOfLezzies (also, because you're super) and Hotgitay who commented yesterday.

Arahneia, AddisonAddek, Dragoncatcher123, LordofLezzies, and Hotgitay as well as 1 guest left kudos on this work! 59 hits so far. 46 comments.

Fanfiction:

smountain for the lovely review. 164 views.

Wattpad:

Comments and suggestions from naylorholby always make my day.

Thanks for the most WONDERFUL shout-out comment from JordynMarie05.

myfairlilymunster for the comments and 126 reads, 12 comments, and 40 stars.

danielaperezsurga , JordynMarie05 , Unicornbaby78 , myfairlilymunster , outlawqueenpercabeth , naylorholby , AddisonAddek , and probably some others who don't show up on my phone, voted on this, thanks.

Also THANKS to everyone else who reads this someday, and to a friend in 'real-life' who beta'ed this for me. Much love.

Ps. Reccomending reading Soothe today if you want to check that out because there's a new chapter 15 of that posted just now!

bobbiejelly