Twelve

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sixteen years old

I wake up in the middle of the night.

At first, I think it's a falling dream. Then I realize that I'm actually falling.

I hit the ground hard. I'm outside. A blade of grass finds its way into my nose and I smack myself in the face trying to get it out. Someone laughs and I jump up like a baby deer, stumbling while I try to find my balance.

We're just far enough away from lights that I don't know who they are until I hear Kieran and Henry whispering to each other. I can't understand what they're saying but I know their voices well enough to recognize.

"What are you doing?" I ask. Maybe this is just a prank. Jack pranks people all the time. But this has a more sinister feel to it. I can already tell that I'm not going to get through this without a mark.

"You're the gay one, aren't you?" Kieran hisses.

"Wh-what?"

He jabs his finger into my chest and repeats himself.

Where is this coming from? He was perfectly normal earlier. Everybody was.

I try to tell them it's not me. I guess he can tell I'm lying, because he shoves me back.

My foot hits wood when I stumble backward and I realize with a start that we're by the lake.

Oh my God. they're going to push me into the water. They're going to drown me.

I panic even more and I nearly trip. I stumble back and then all three of us are on the dock. It's shaking wildly. It's the oldest thing in the entire camp and was never meant to hold this many people. Jason was supposed to replace it last fall but the lake flooded and it got postponed.

They're both saying horrible things. I don't want to hear any of it. It just further reinforces my fear that no one around me will accept me as I am. I'm never going to tell anyone I'm gay, am I?

They would probably tell the whole camp and have me ostracized. I honestly don't know how they haven't realized it was Jack. He was sitting with the speaker guy and everything yesterday. Maybe I was the only one looking.

I can't deal with this. I can't. I've heard things like this from my parents but I've never had someone say it right to my face. I mean, Mom and Dad only got started on talking about things like this because of the whole Trump presidency thing. He hasn't won and I pray every day that he won't, but the odds don't seem to be in my favor.

And while I'm thinking about my parents' hatred of people like me, I'm saved.

Someone is yanking them back. We're still outside the lights' reach, but I know it's Jack. His red hair reflects in the moonlight. Jack punches Kieran in the stomach and he doubles over, groaning. Jack hits him in the face while he's at the right height. Kieran falls and doesn't get back up. Jack throws Henry down so hard that I hear a crack and he doesn't move again.

"Oh, my God, are you okay?" Jack asks. I don't think he knows how loud he is. He pulls me off of the dock and we both slip on the dewy grass.

I slide down the riverbank and my foot hits the water. It shocks me back to life but that doesn't last long. We're suddenly surrounded by an army of counselors. I think this might be the one and only time they actually caught someone sneaking out. But not in time.

Not in time.

A flashlight clicks on and shines in Jack's face. He flinches away from it and we both slide further into the water. He's clinging to me like a koala, so I'm in the lake up to my knees and he's barely got a toe in.

A counselor roughly yanks both of us up. Jack doesn't let go of me for a second. I'm shaking so hard that I can barely walk, let alone hold myself up.

I might cry. I don't want to in front of all of these people, but that was kind of terrifying. I thought they were going to hit me. And I didn't even tell them anything. I just kept my mouth shut.

Jack leads me into a building and makes me sit down. Everyone is asking questions, but all I can hear is Jack whispering that everything will be fine. 

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