Graceless

Quatre

DEDICATED to @irwinthegod for the stunning cover

TW: MENTION OF S/A
                                                                                           

-EDITED 19/10/15- 14/05/16

IV

I didn't want to go anywhere with Lena. There always was too many people. Too much touching. Too much noise. Too much. I couldn't breathe and I just couldn't stand it. I always said no but she always had a sob story and she always made me feel bad. This time she said that 'I locked her out of the store room when she needed more glue to restock the shelf'. I just sighed and got dressed. I always sighed and got dressed.

I didn't really mind the alcohol or the buzz it gave off.

Lena was patiently sitting on my couch grinning like a silly fool while tapping away on her phone. I glowered at her one last time before I turned and made my way for my bedroom to gather my stuff and have a shower.

•

I was disappointed when we could hear the thumping of the music from one block away in the cab.

The fast loud beat was that of my heart, I mean, the music was pretty loud too but I was erratic. Lena ditched me for her dreamboat. Well, she didn't exactly ditch me. She asked me if I wanted to stay with them and I winced. Same thing. I didn't mind, I wanted to be alone even though I hardly was, the large dark room was packed from wall to wall. There were people everywhere even on the dainty looking metal stairs all the way up to the loft above.

The only source of light was provided by the 'skylight' which was really just a big gaping hole in the roof, it was really more of a hole than there was a roof.

My eyes were locked on the gaze of the moon when I felt a hand rest on my thigh. I froze immediately, I didn't move for fear I'd pass out. No one even noticed this. They were all drunk and dancing; foolish, happy and on temporary heights.

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move. The hand slowly made its way up and a pair of lips were roughly pressed against my neck and a cold chill rain through me. I was paralyzed. I didn't want this to happen again. I couldn't. I couldn't move. Sloppy violent kisses were placed where my hope was displaced. The hand was at the hem of my skirt and I swear was heart was in my ears.

I shut my eyes and squeezed them tight. The hand was gone for a whole minute and I hadn't even noticed. I wouldn't have noticed if it weren't the sickening, chilling sound of something cracking them a howl followed by a trail of swearing.

A hand touched my shoulder gently and I promised myself I wouldn't faint but I couldn't keep it. I just...

"Grace!" the hand was now two, shaking me gingerly. The voice of the person shaking me was a doubt in my mind, my eyes were still closed and I didn't want to open them.

"Grace are you okay?" I squeezed my eyes tighter "Do you want a ride home?"

A strange gust of wind brushed my faced and the hot tears felt cool for once. Just this once. I nodded slowly.

"You're going to have to open your eyes, Grace," He said quietly, even though the music was loud I still heard him "You're going to have to trust me."

I inhaled and my breath hiked. I didn't want to but I did. I could hardly make out his features. Mostly the outline of his face, the tip of his nose, a shine on his cheeks and his full lips and his eyes; almost glowing silver of the moonlight. My eyes shifted quickly to his hands that were still on my shoulders. He dropped them immediately and we just stood there for a while.

I hadn't noticed that he had his hand held out for me to take it until he coughed awkwardly. I hesitated, I didn't want to touch him or to be touched. I just couldn't. But I did anyway, just this once.

When I place my hand in his I was afraid, I didn't expect it to be warm, or soft or safe. I laughed harshly inwardly. How do you know what safety feels like? I bit my lip and peeped up at him through my lashes. He was staring at me with a strange look on his face.

Was he analysing me?

He took a step forward and I held my breath hesitating and I could've sworn I felt him squeeze my hand. I blinked slowly and exhaled then took a shaky step to meet him at his side and I glanced upwards at him, I could've sworn I saw a smile on his face but it was soon gone.

The crowd was thick and hard to get through but I didn't care, I just wanted to get out of there. I didn't once look back, fearing I'd turn into a pillar of salt. Not even when we stepped outside and the cold, early January air bit at my cheeks. Not when he walked me to his car.

I was phased when he opened and closed the door for me but I didn't show it. I didn't tell him where I lived because I knew without a doubt that he already knew. If he didn't I'd just stop off wherever he thinks I did and figure something out. I felt uncomfortably comfortable in his car. I don't know why I wasn't terrified to be near him. I should be, but I couldn't.

He was turning onto the street I lived on and I let out a soft sigh. The car stopped and I sat quietly, he didn't move and neither did I. We just sat there, I looked at him and his eyes were on me already with the same expression they held back in the warehouse.

"Are you okay Grace?" he breathed, nothing above a whisper.

There was a lump slowly forming in my throat, I turned my head in the other direction.

"Grace... were you," he paused for a while and my hand fumbled with the door "Were you raped?"

It slammed shut behind me, the lump was choking me and his stormy grey eyes burned and thawed my heart unintentionally.

I resented him for it.

--

A/N

Hello! c: thanks for reading, any thoughts? Please don't be a silent reader.

xoxo,

Fleur. ♥