(Outdated) Warriors: Clouded Skies #3 - Silent Stars

Chapter Ten

By now, Rowanpaw knew when he was dreaming. Even if he was in the forest, hunting alongside Hazelfur and Birchsplash, he knew it wasn't real, because they were happy. They laughed and joked and their eyes glowed with life like it hadn't for moons. Even when he felt the warm flesh of a mouse in his paws, feeling the blood soak into his claws, he knew it was an illusion, because he had never seen a mouse so plump, juicy and clean.

And now he knew he could do anything. So when he found himself by Hazelfur's side, hearing Birchsplash take down a squawking bird, he left the two without saying a word and ran leisurely back to camp. The ground felt strong under his paws, and though he never ran out of breath, though his gait was smooth and calm, he reached camp in no time. He jumped easily up the rocks, feeling the cold wind rush through his fur as he looked into camp.

Ashbreeze's litter was playing in the clearing, watched rather closely by Leafpelt and Brownear. The tom muttered something in the black cat's ear, and she looked excitedly at him, eyes glowing. Rowanpaw almost wondered why he was dreaming of something that didn't involve him, but pushed it out of his mind as he bounded down the rocks, crossed the clearing, and slipped inside the nursery. In an instant, Meadowkit and Primkit were twisting around his paws.

"How was hunting? When can we go with you?" Primkit rushed, sounding so happy and strong.

"Just a little over two moons left," he promised, touching his nose to her's. "Then I'll show you everything in the territory!"

"Me too?" Meadowkit asked excitedly. "I want to go see the Twolegplace again! And the pond, too!"

"Of course!" Rowanpaw meowed. "I promise to bring you right when you become an apprentice!"

After touching noses with both his sisters, he padded to Emberheart's nest, taking a long moment to just look into her eyes. That beautiful yellow gaze glowed like sunlit honey, and sadness pierced him when she lowered her eyes to look at Hopekit. The little she-kit had recently opened her eyes, and was struggling to raise herself off her stomach, her stumpy little legs covered in bright kit-fluff. Thorn-sharp claws dug against the thick moss, and he nuzzled her lovingly.

"She'll grow so big and strong," Emberheart murmured, looking at her daughter with such a happy look it made him ache.

"I'll watch over her," Rowanpaw murmured softly.

"Oh, I know, Rowanpaw." Emberheart looked at him again, and he felt his legs wobble under her motherly gaze. "But you don't need to worry about that--I'll be here to raise her." She turned back to her daughter and ran her tongue along the small kit's back.

No, you won't be, he wanted to say, because he knew she was gone. He knew that once he woke, he would go to the nursery to find Hopekit against Rainsong's belly, never to see her mother like Rowanpaw was able to, with shining fur and glowing eyes; nor would she get to hear the honey-soft voice that Rowanpaw missed so much. Hopekit would never hear her mother praise her after catching her first prey, or feel the brush of her fur on cold days in the territory as they traveled side by side, alone except for each other.

"I miss you so much..." he couldn't help but whisper.

Emberheart looked up at him, her eyes weak and terribly sad. "Then why didn't you save me?" she whispered. "You could've helped me, but you were weak."

Pain tore at his heart. "I'm sorry," he rasped, feeling weak and desperate. He just wanted to brush against her fur, to hear her voice when it was soft and loving, not the deep anguish that filled it now. He wanted her to lay against his side and have her whisper that everything would be all right. "I just want you back... I want everything to be okay..."