dear november

11.16.14

Dear November, 

In short, today was awesome. 

Let me set the scene: today was the first rehearsal for a concert four bands are playing next Sunday. Today was the audition for seating in the band, and there were seven other French horn players the band of my grade level bracket. And somehow, November, I got first chair. 

I was a little nervous, and the cold morning air had lost its bite once I was indoors. Sweating. And anxious. I met two girls upstairs, Janet and Tasha, and honestly, Tasha plays better than Janet and she got a lower chair. She seemed a little passive-aggressive about it, but understandably. Although seriously, Janet is hilarious. And awesome. 

I don't know how this happens everytime: I stress and somehow I end up on top. Do I really come out when it's time to cut the crap? My first scales were off, and the guy let me warm up. I cut the long notes a little short, but I felt good about the audition. But not good enough that I expected first chair. 

After a short break where results were posted, there was the actual practice. The first song, Bonsai Tree, was absolutely gorgeous with the pitched percussion opening. It's like ethereal tea garden slash samurai battle. After that, we split up into sectionals, with the horns in one room. We practiced all the songs for a bit, and then we had a joint practice with the trumpets. 

I was a little sad to see Ryan with a lower chair, but I know our teacher hasn't taught him the insane high notes in the first trumpet parts. Seating in trumpets is a lot more competitive and difficult than horn by far, so I was just glad to see him anyway. Their teacher lectured us on music theory, and it felt like a pep talk. He was a little sappy. 

Then, back to the full rehearsal. I realized that it wasn't exactly me that was out of the park, in fact, the second chair was waaay better at counting than I was. I shone when I needed to. I swelled with music when I felt it was important. When I performed for my band teacher's church, it wasn't in me. I was playing for a congregation of stale beliefs and old hymns, not really for my own happiness. I was playing to be paid. But when I'm into it, I know that I'll hit that glissando and smash that accent rhythm when I have to. Until then, I will practice. And practice. And I promise I will try not to brag.

We stopped by this dumpling shop on the way home, and the lady there was so terrifically sassy and hilarious. My aunt would have loved her. 

Anyway. Thank you for listening. 

Sincerely, Esther