Blue's Book Reviews and Graphics

Book Review: Finding Home by @WolfRaider56

I hope you love the speedy work I've done. I tried to get it done as soon as possible. I don't have anything else to do in quarantine either. I read the first three chapters ad read the character profiles.

Well, I hope my feedback can help you. And I hope you can give me feedback on my feedback. Tell me if it was helpful. It's the first time I've reviewed someone's work other than my friends'. Here it is.

Finding Home by WolfRaider56

COVER (6/10)

I like the image you used. It is a picture of the main character and the person is photogenic. The only problem is that I cannot see the author's name where her arm is. The white blends in so try using a darker color. I also cannot see the word "home" properly. Consider using a bolder font and a darker color for the title. Maybe use the picture you used for North's character profile because I really like that picture as well.

DESCRIPTION(6/10)

The description gets the point across, but I feel it does not do the plot justice. You need to make it catchier. (Sorry if I am coming off too harsh, I don't mean to). You might want to try something like:

"North, a young girl has been tumbling from one foster home to the next for the last year. Mainly because it was her fault. Despite her struggles, she's kept her younger brothers Asher and Oliver by her side. Just when she was about to lose hope, the Thompsons became her salvation when they decided to adopt her. But she was going to have a hard time adapting to them, and she realizes that life is never as easy as it seems."

I don't know, I am not an author, but feel free to use it. However, I feel that the original description was pretty good the way it is, you just want something that packs a harder punch.

Extra Note:

I like your unique way of introducing the main characters. It's something I haven't seen before. Good job!

Things I Noticed:

There are some spelling errors and words like did should be didn't, but other than that I enjoyed reading the story.

PLOT (8/10)

I am enjoying the plot and it's good, but personally, I believe that you could show North going through the pain of negligence from parents. Maybe make the entire first chapter North and her siblings having trouble surviving with their horrible parents. Create more emotion. That's just a suggestion, but I am thoroughly enjoying the story you created. I love how you took the time to research the adoption and foster system. In previous stories, I've read incorrect information regarding that and I respect how you took the time to properly research. Adoption can be a sensitive topic for people.

Moving on, I like the emotions you are showing through North. Try amping up the emotion and de-amping the plot a little because stories like this sell on their ability to make people cry. I still love everything you have created so far. I am a sucker for emotional pain (I don't know why. I am weird.) so anything that manages me to feel sad sells me.

CHARACTERS (9/10)

North: The vibe I am getting from her is pretty good. I like how she remains strong for her brothers and I like how she is strong enough to cry. I like how you made her suspicious of everything and how she's created a wall around herself and her brothers because she expects the Thompsons to be like her past experiences. A well-created character, maybe just show her inner thoughts more.

Asher and Ollie: these two radiate the same energy and vibe even though they are different ages. I like their characters, maybe just think about giving them more individuality. I know little kids are mostly the same, but Asher must remember more of the pain they've gone through than Ollie so maybe create that sense of maturity? I don't know, I'm just saying stuff, but I hope it is helpful for you to better your story.

Sandy and Daniel: I like how they are welcoming towards the kids and warm to them at first. They need parental figures that are that way. I hope they would be able to remove North's past trauma and suspicion of them. If I could talk to Daniel, I would say is calm down and let them adjust to the setting. But I love how you've crafted them. Sandy should try to help curb North's trauma, but it seems she doesn't want a teenager as a person, but as a character, keep going with that vibe. It adds extra spice to the story. I love and hate these parental figures.

Daisy: Downright my favorite character. You've crafted her so beautifully.

Overall, for the most part, from what I've read, your characters are deep. All you need to do is differentiate Asher and Ollie, and dive deeper into North's

SUB-PLOT (10/10)

From the three chapters I've read, I've grasped a basic idea of this novel. I read only three chapters because I wanted to get the review to you faster and give you more of a true review before experiencing the rest of the stories. Like first impressions I got sort of thing.

So, I like how Sandy and Daniel are found annoying and strange to North. I like the extra spice you added with the whole "I don't want a teenager" part.

VIBE (7/10)

At first I was a little skeptical because I didn't get time to wrap my head around the scene with North's parents neglecting her, but when I got deeper into the story, it started making more sense. If you would like, since her past and the current story are different events, make her past a prologue and move on. Even without the scene of her past in the first chapter, I would be able to understand she was neglected.

Overall

As I've pointed out before, there are some improvements you could make. To sum the whole thing up:

1. Dive deeper into North's feelings and thoughts

2. Make Asher and Ollie a little more different

3. There is some typos, just like all other books on Wattpad--and even published books if you look hard enough

4. Focus more on the characters rather than what's happening

5. Use more active voice compare to passive voice

Ex. (The dog was red and it barked and jumped. This is a complete sentence. You can change it to an active voice and it'll sound better. The red dog barked and jumped, excited to see new people. This way you can also convey more details and events in a more exciting way.

6. I love the characters that were introduced in the first three chapters

7. I love how you represent North's past trauma and how you made her a strong person despite all the chaos around her

8. I respect how you took the time to do your research

9. I love the vibe I am getting from your writing. Your style sort of tells me you're a happy-go-lucky type of person.

Good Job and keep up the hard work!