Blue's Book Reviews and Graphics

Book Review: Black Hearted by @StarWolfLegacy

Black Hearted by StarWolfLegacy

I feel I went a little harsh on this review. Sorry about that. I guess I really wanted to review this book to the best of my ability.

Here it is. If I say anything to offend you, or if you feel what I said is incorrect, please comment and let me know. If I get a chance, I'll gladly redo the review. Sorry about the harshness in advance. (There really is no way to get constructive criticism across nicely)

Cover (6/10)

I felt the cover was a bit off. I don't know how to say it. You could make it more eye-catchy. There is something about the cover that feels off. Like something isn't right. I don't know, I probably sound rude right now. Well. *Shrugs*. You could always fill out the form in the graphic shop area and I would be happy to make you another cover. I'm pretty sure that the font you used isn't right, and maybe the colors, but I can't put my finger on it.

Description (7/10)

The description is good, but you want to make it pack more of a punch. It doesn't fully convince me that your book is the one I want to read. Personally, I don't like descriptions with dialogue, but I feel you picked the right dialogues for the description. I got a little confused when the name changed from Ares to Ash. For a second I was like WHAT???

I just read the story (first three chapters), and I feel the description doesn't do the story justice. The story is much better than the description, and you usually want to make the description better to fit the mood of your story.

Plot 7/10

I enjoyed the plot of the story. I don't know how to say this nicely, but you should think about making the first chapter and prologue more catchy. It took some work for me to read as I couldn't grasp what was happening. Probably because I haven't read the other books in the series, but I didn't understand what was happening in the prologue. I got a faint idea, but it was lacking context. The story, however, was pretty good. Your story is character-driven, and the characters are pretty good. You just want to portray your story better and make it more attention-grabbing. I understood how Ares and Mercury's relation was the base of the story, but I can't say. Make it more BOOM.

Characters 8/10

Ares: I like Ares's character. He reminds me a lot of my younger sibling, So I must say you've pulled off that aspect AWESOMELY. You made a realistic character, but I feel he had a one-track mind. It was almost as if his mind was dedicated to Mercury and wanting to beat him (forgive me if I interpreted wrong). Maybe add more layers to his character. (Since this is a backstory, i can't really judge from the angles of what happens in the future of the other books in the series.) From what I read, you should develop Ares more in the earlier chapters. Nonetheless, I still loved him.

Mercury: I can't say I hate him because I am Mercury, but I can't say I love him. He puts his brother in a position that he is unable to believe in himself, but he brags like most siblings that win. I must say, Mercury as an Anti-Hero was pretty good. He was well-rounded, and my favourite character in terms of how he was written.

Ares's Mom: She is angelic, and I love her. That's all.

Subplot N/A

Since this is a backstory, and I only read the first three parts, I couldn't detect any subplot.

Vibe 7/10

At first, the vibe I was getting was great. Then when I kept reading, it got better. I could understand Mercury's point of view (because I'm an older sibling that wins everything), and I love the way you wrote Ares. The only thing that confused me was the use of the name Ash in the description. If Ash is going to turn into Aresm how is his name already Ares in chapter 1? I don't know. Maybe I didn't pay attention, but *shrugs*. I feel I was able to relate to some of the characters and at some point, I really loved some of them. The only thing I would say is that I kept getting confused while reading. Maybe I'm dumb, but that's what happened.

Improvements

I noticed that a lot of your sentences are too wordy, and at some points, you focus on descriptions of their surroundings a bit too much. To be frank, no one really cares what the place looks like. As long as you get the point across, there is really no need to describe the place as readers are going to imagine it any way they want. You had a few grammatical errors and run-on sentences, but other than that the writing was good. Your writing style is good and to the point.

NOTE: Once again, if I said anything wrong or incorrect or something that didn't happen in your story or something like that, please comment according to the fact that I read the prologue, chapter one, and chapter two.

- @Blue773