Lights (Scomiche)

Son

Scott couldn’t seem to get back to Mitch fast enough after the news of Jeremy’s passing. Watching Kirstie’s heart break into pieces in front of him was almost a bit of a wake up call. Mitch was still alive there was still a chance and here he was leaving him in there alone when he could be there by his side.

Mitch’s parents had gone back to the cushy hotel that RCA had been kind enough to set them up in to get some sleep, knowing that visiting hours were nearly over and there was nothing they could do now except try to rest in preparation for the long days to come. They’d requested to be called if anything changed, and the hotel was literally right down the street so they could be back in just minutes.  

So Scott was alone as he rushed back to Mitch’s room. He wiped at his eyes and readjusted his mask as he walked back in and looked at the motionless face.  

He moved to stand next to him, hesitating, but finally taking the small hand in his own, being extra careful not to disturb anything. He looked at the small fingers, how big his hand seemed to be with Mitch’s resting in it. For some reason that released the flood gates and he dropped to his knees as he let his head fall to the bed as he sobbed.  He wished Mitch could hear him. He had so many things he wanted to say 

He looked up at him, chest feeling strangely tight. “You can’t leave me. Please. How would I keep going without you? Who would make me smile? Laugh?  Who will listen to me rant about stupid shit and cuddle with me when I’m feeling lonely or scared for no reason and not make fun of me.” He sniffled, letting his thumb caress his skin, still careful of the iv there on the back of his hand.

“I need to see you smile again, hear you laugh. Hell, if you’d just wake up…”  He had catch his breath, voice broken  “you can call me dad as much as you want, I swear I won’t complain. You can redecorate however you want or we can move to a bigger place like you wanted.” He leaned down and kissed his arm just above the wrist, not even caring about the mask that separated his lips from his love’s skin.  “Just please don’t leave me. I’ll do anything. I love you so much.” He couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from his face, even when it all just looked so wrong.  “I’m sorry I didn’t protect you.”

He looked up as he heard the door slide open again and saw the nurse from before peek her head inside. “I’m sorry, sir, but visiting hours are over.”

He’d been expecting it, but it didn’t stop the slight panic at having to leave him again. Everyone in the world seemed to want to keep him away from his best friend, and it was tough to swallow.

He closed his eyes for a moment, reminding himself that these people were trying to help Mitch, they were trying to keep him alive. He took one last look, and told him he loved him before he got to his feet and left his heart behind.

____

He couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t do anything but stare at the wall. 

“If he doesn’t make it-”

“Scott, no. He’s going to make it, ok?” Alex looked at him from his perch at the foot of the bed. They both just sat, legs crossed as they let the events of the day rearrange and then settle inside of them as they decided which order they could best deal with them. 

“Alex, if he doesn’t make it I don’t …    who will I be? It’s always been us, me and Mitch, Mitch and I. No one understands me like he di….  “ He pressed his lips together, closing his eyes and pressing the back of his hand to his mouth. “does.  Like he does.”

Alex wanted to crawl over there and hold him in his arms and comfort him, but even though he loved him more than he could possibly know, Scott wasn’t his anymore. And while he wanted to be angry at Mitch for having what was his, he’d never once resented him or thought any less of him. He’d been an absolute wreck the entire time Mitch had been missing, and when Kevin had called and said Scott needed him he’d immediately cashed in some personal time and came running. He felt like he was in a movie or something, someone’s nightmare that he just wanted to wake up from and find himself still in Scott’s arms, Mitch still sleeping peacefully in the other room.