The Diary of Bellatrix Lestrange

Best Friends Never leave You

October 12

I thought Regulas becoming one of us would be a good thing, but it is becoming something of a worry for me. I'm afraid that even my high standing with Tom won't be enough to save him if something were to happen.  He tells me he will be alright, and that I shouldn't worry about him as often as I do. But the truth is that I worry about him more than anything. If something were to happen, I don't know what I would do.

Best friends shouldn't leave you, and they don't. I know I shouldn't worry about him like I do, but it's impossible to not.

October 21

Regulas has not returned home in a few days. We are all waiting for him to return. I haven't slept in days because of this, and even now it is late. I am hoping he will return soon. Tom said he would turn up,  and I believe him, but it's still an imposing feeling,  knowing his life is riding on my shoulders.  I am the reason he is in this mess, and for that I will never forgive myself.

October 23

Regulas has returned, but we won't talk about where he was. He told me that I shouldn't worry about it, and that it is his life, and he will live it as he wishes. I know this is true, but it's still hard waiting for him to return each day.

November 1

The All Hallows Eve dance has come and gone, but somethings have never changed.
Rophledus and I are as far from married as ever, not that I'm complaining. He is a kind person, but he isn't someone I could ever love.

Sirius and I avoid each other as much as possible. I don't feel bad for him. He's a traitor to our family, and I feel no sympathy for him. He talks about running away often, and I don't doubt him. If I disgraced my family like he did, I would run away too.

Regulas has me worried the most. He has become absorbed in his work for the Dark Lord. No one can pull him away from it. I suppose it is a good thing, but I am still worried about him. I know Tom will not spare him if he fails, no matter what I do. I don't want to lose my best friend. He is the only one who understands. I will never forgive myself if something were to happen to him.

November 3

Narcissa, Andromada, and I have been spending more time together now that Regulas is locking himself in his room. They miss him as much as I do, and even Sirius is concerned. I told them not to worry about him, and that seemed to calm them down. I don't want them to be involved in this. I worry about them often, and so does Regulas. He doesn't want anything to happen to Sirius, not matter what he did. He has tried to convince me it was not his fault, but I can't help myself.

I spend less and less time with Tom, which worries me. Ever since he said he loved me, he has pushed me farther away. I miss him immensely. I wish he wouldn't push me away like he does. I love him, no matter what he does.

Now that I have hit over 2 thousand reads, I wanted to post a small chapter. I have plans on writing a longer chapter in the future. Thank you so much to every single one of you. I love working on this book, even though I do not do it as often as I shoul. I appreciate every single one of you, and I wouldn't be anywhere without you.

Love, Mar