𝐇𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐋.𝐒

Episode 1.3 ✔️

As before every performance, Harry was terribly nervous. This was something that had never changed in all these years and would probably never change. However, he was not the paleest today, it was Zayn by far, who still seemed to have a hard time with the sushi that had already come up again. "Now you know how I always felt." Harry put an arm around Zayn's shoulders and grinned at him crookedly. "If I had puked before every concert, I would have been out of here after a week. Admirable that you lasted longer."

"The alternative would have been to go back to the bakery and earn money for my studies." I think Harry preferred this. Even though his nervousness meant he was more likely to find himself in the toilet at first than in the styling or the wardrobe, but at least he had that under control by now. Now he was just excited and nervous, in a positive way, if you wanted to see it that way. Harry liked to be on stage and perform, to carry the crowd away and give them a show. He was born for it, Zayn had said about him once, and it was probably true. Harry had never liked anything better and if he had his way, he wouldn't stop until he was old and wrinkled and he was swept off the stage. Until then he would try to make every performance his best.

After Harry had been in his room and actually listened to the cassette twice more, they had to leave at some point. Harry hadn't had much time to get himself halfway back to normal. But he assumed that it was not obvious that he had cried. The boys hadn't asked him about it, anyway.

Zayn, who had had a herbal tea made, sipped the cup and looked at Niall and Liam, who had just had their hair done and were laughing at each other. Louis had just come out of the dressing room, he had a less enthusiastic look for both of them, which probably affected Harry's arm around Zayn. But that didn't interest Harry. Louis had no right to make a scene over anything. And even if he was determined to talk to him, his pride wouldn't really allow it. Especially when he saw that jealous look on Louis' face. Then certainly not. "Think you can do this today?"

"Think you can handle it today? If I have to, I'll just puke backstage for a moment and then I'll be back," he said with a grin, and Harry gave him a nudge, because he knew exactly what he was alluding to. "Bastard."

"Harry, that's something out of your mouth." Zayn, in a state of shock, did something that got him another poke. Louis watched them both from his seat, even though he pretended to check his cell phone, and he really didn't like their joking around. He had always been jealous. No matter who Harry was talking to, he saw them as a potential threat, he didn't even stop at band members. Which was stupid, as Harry had reassured him dozens of times. He had never wanted anything from anyone in the band except Louis.

Zayn had probably noticed Louis' look as well and put himself a little bit further away from Harry, which made his eyes roll. "Sorry," mumbled Zayn. "I just don't feel like stress."

"This is bullshit!"

"Let it go, Harry," he said, as Harry was about to get upset. Lucky for him, his mother called at that moment and distracted Harry enough. So that not everyone could listen, he went outside into the corridor. There were enough people running around here, but they were all busy with something and didn't pay much attention to him.

"How's my favorite child?" His mother seemed to be in a good mood, which was good. The last time we talked, she seemed depressed. but she hadn't wanted to tell Harry why.

"Mama! The corner of Harry's mouth twitched when he said hello. He knew not to presume, though, Gemma got the same welcome.

"Just a joke, love. Just a joke." She laughed, which made Harry smile, too. He leaned against the wall so he wouldn't get in the way. It was nice to hear his mother's voice, especially when she seemed well and sounded so carefree. In the background Harry could hear Robin and Gemma talking, he just couldn't understand what they were saying but it made his mother laugh. God, he really missed those three. "How are you? You didn't call me at all yesterday."