Sterek☼{One-shots}

you finally see me.

It's crazy how you think you know me as I walk through the door.

It's saddening how every time something I am proud of happens, I seek your validation.

It's heart- breaking when I realise you do not know me as I walk through the door, or do not validate my victories as I thought you would.

It's even more crazy and saddening and heart- breaking   when I realise though I speak; you do not hear me.

These were just SOME of the thoughts I possessed when it came to Derek. You see, I have been by his side since the time his mother had lost her life in an unfortunate accident, that happened exactly 4 years ago. That's right, today is the anniversary.

25/05/16.

The date.. that haunted Derek. In fact, every year when May came around ... he became  a completely different person. (Not that his usual self isn't tearful) But when May came around, I felt like i didn't know him whatsoever. Who was this boy standing by my side who calls himself Derek Hale? This is... not my best friend.... Wait. Did I just say best friend?  Yeah, I did indeed say best friend. Surprise ! Derek Hale is my best friend. Actually, I am Derek Hale's best friend. To me, Stiles Stilinski; he is... well, also my best friend. But you know what that means to me, and you know what that means to him. People always search for meanings of words on the dictionary, when they should actually search the meaning inside their heads. And I don't mean it like 'well to me food now means something else then hahaha'. I mean it like this :

So, we all have our own idea of what beauty is to us. To some of us, beauty is blonde hair, blue eyes, white skin. To some of us, beauty is what sort of music an individual listens to when they vibe, or what their favourite films are. Those are the features that determine beauty for some people. Not  necessarily the definition google has for us when we type it in.... so, that is the kind of deciding what certain words mean to us personally I was talking about.

So, my meaning of 'Derek Hale is my best friend' is that he was my best friend, but he was also someone who I thought of constantly, someone who I imagined I'd move in with when we were adults. He is the one I constantly wrote about in my diary, he is the one who was the reason behind my first full crying session. When I saw him and some random chick kiss in the P.E changing rooms, I felt a sudden sharp feeling...of jealousy i suppose? And later on that day when Derek had told me he and her had had sex, that sudden sharp feeling felt  suffocating. I guess that is how i knew i didn't like women... or i suppose how i knew i did not wish to be with anyone other than Derek. So, I suppose by now you should  know: I  am in love with Derek Hale. From what I know, always have been.

Now, Derek's definition of 'Stiles Stilinski is my best friend' is that I was his best friend. I was someone he wanted to tell about all the hot chicks he had been on dates with. I was someone he came to when he noticed his masculinity was threatened when life was getting too hard. 'dude, I can't look like a pussy next to her.' And of course, no matter how many times I has told him, 'having emotions doesn't make you any less manly. It makes you a human being, you're allowed to feel things Derek. Who said feeling vulnerable was only for chicks?' he didn't listen to me. I was someone he wanted to hang out with and play games with. I wanted to go on walks with him.I wanted to visit cafes with him. i wanted to do all the cliche romance stuff with him.  I guess that's something that will never happen. Oh wait, no it will. In my dreams of course.

So, you get the point i suppose. I wanted to be his boyfriend. I wanted him to be my boyfriend. He wanted to be my best friend. He wanted me to be his best friend.