Depression Is Only One Word//Hyunjin X Reader

Chapter 8

it's been about a month since that day, I haven't seen Hyunjin, and I'm not going to go looking for him, in fear of running into him

I've been staying at home, looking for work, but no one wants to hire someone who went off the map for years, they think its bad karma. 

just as I was getting annoyed with my search I start to feel a bit off but that thought was interrupted when I heard the doorbell go off. I look at the time, Mia shouldn't be home yet, plus she has a key.

I figured it couldn't be Hyunjin cause they just posted their new come back and they are busy promoting it. I started shaking, who could it be? could it be my ex-boss? my address was on the paperwork I filled out!! what if he's back for round 2???

I pull my legs up to my chest as I sat on my computer chair. "Go away!!" I yell towards the door as tears threaten to spill. 

"Hey Y/n it's me! is everything okay?!" a voice asked and I immediately knew that voice. "Hyunjin?" I breathed out and he somehow heard me "Yeah, Baby it's me. can I come in?" he asked and I agreed.  

I was in the process of drying my tears and placing my feet on the floor. I remembered I showed him where the spare key was in case Mia was ever in danger.

"were you crying?" I heard a soft voice and looked up to see that Chan was with Hyunjin, great, now I have to deal with 2 people today. I sighed knowing there was no way out of this. I nodded "why?" Hyunjin asked moving closer to me and crouching on the floor in front of me 

"I haven't seen you at work for a while, I thought you were sick, but they said you quit, was it cause I kissed you?" he asked with a worried expression and Chan was shocked as if that's not the reason he tagged along.

I shook my head as I place a hand on each of his cheeks "No, they fired me" I explained and he looked confused "How come?" he asked "cause I kissed you" I explained and he looked guilty "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have kissed you" 

I shook my head again "No I loved it, my boss just didn't like the fact I broke a rule" I said and soon his hands grabbed mine "Y/n! what did he do? you're shaking!" he exclaimed and Chan got closer worrying for me 

"Nothing happened, he just scares me, all he did was yell at me" I lied through my teeth just so I could change the subject.

we talked for a bit but not long cause they had to get back to the company. the entire time this weird feeling never went away. it just stayed there at the bottom of my stomach. I look on my phone's calendar and notice what I have on today's date and walk towards my room.

I open the top draw in my dresser and move some clothes around till I found what I was looking for. I went to the restroom, I started pacing as I thought of everything that has happened and that could happen. what if I am pregnant with his child?! I can barely support me and Mia. what happens if there's another little one running around in 8 months?

I start shaking and then I heard a knock on my front door. "hey it's me Chan! I forgot my keys!" he exclaimed and I silently laughed at his forgetfulness. I leave the bathroom door open and walk to the front door, unlocking it and letting him in

he grabbed his keys and gave me a hug, which let him look over my shoulder and into the bathroom which I one I should've shut the door too

"Hey what's that?" he asked walking into the bathroom before I could reach him he looked at the test sitting on the counter and I hated myself knowing the time to wait was up. he looked at me with wide eyes "Y/n, you're pregnant?!" he asked and my eyes widened "well now I do" I stated and he stared at me for a moment before his eyes softened

"he rapped you didn't he?" he asked and I gave him a confused look "what do you mean?" I asked trying to play the dumb card hoping it works

"your ex-boss, you were shaking earlier and we haven't heard from you since that day, and suddenly you're pregnant... I'm not dumb Y/n" I walk up to him, grabbing the test and throwing it in the trash. "please don't tell anyone..." I said and he looked at me with a shocked expression

"No this isn't right! you love Hyunjin I can see it! and that man had no right to touch you or fire you like he did!!" he said walking towards the door "No, please, it's fine. I've been raped before... It's not a strange thing to me. Just don't tell anyone please! I'm just going to hope I have a miscarriage and I'll never have to tell anyone!" I explained and he looked at me with anger

"this child is a blessing, everyone is! and for you to hope you have a miscarriage makes me wonder how much this world has hurt you!" he said walking towards the door again, placing his hand on the doorknob before turning his head slightly "don't worry I'll keep your secret. I just hope you keep the child..." and that was the last thing he said before walking out the door

that's when it hit me, I'm pregnant... with my rapist's child. I fell to my knees as I sobbed and sobbed. eventually, I pulled myself up and walked to my room. and slept. 

that's what I wish would've happened, I laid awake all night trying to figure out how I'm going to hide this from everyone around me, even Mia. the less she knows the better