stars shining bright above you [kylo ren - 365 days based au]

V

"We lay here for years or for hours, so long we become the flowers."

__chapter 5__

5 years ago, in a galaxy far, far away...

EVERYTHING WAS SO UNFAIR.

          Drusilla sat against a tree, alone. She was covered in bandages, both symbols and reminders of her near fatal brush with death. Her heart ached as she did not dare approach the graves of the fallen padawans – those who had lived and died by their lightsabers. She felt unworthy, hiding in the nearby forest, within eyeshot of the makeshift cemetery.

          The woman was in a meditative state, her legs stretched out, back against the trunk with her hands resting on her knees. Her half-open eyes lazily followed the floating clouds, jumping from form to form as she took the sky in, unable to totally focus on the elements. Her inability to focus prompted frustration to simmer and grow amongst the numbness of her mind. Maybe she should have followed the medic's order's instead of self-medicating. Shrugging, Drusilla was simply glad she was finally calm – despite the building frustration – and no longer feeling the sharp pain in her chest when she breathed or the sting of her stitches holding her stomach together.

          Her mind happily drifted back to the skies; Drusilla imagined herself in another timeline where she was happy and free. Without a care in the universe, the woman swayed her upper body to music audible to her ears only; the soft melody seeping from a memory of her youth. Her euphoria was at its peak.

          Drusilla felt broken. The life she lived before had been brutally ended; Luke made it very clear that the moment her wounds were healed they'd be somewhere far off into the galaxy. Gone. Her features twisted involuntary into a wince as she thought about leaving the Academy. It only made everything more real.

           The woman was pulled from her dreadful thoughts as her eyes flew to a form covered by a black cloak entered her vision. At the sight of him, it felt as if her little bubble of euphoria dissipated into the air; the constant humming of the wildlife she was used to faded out. It was too quiet. Drusilla was well hidden by the trees yet had an excellent view of the manly figure who steadily approached the graves. Silent, she observed as the man halted a few feet from the tombstones. He seemed hesitant, on his guard as if he wasn't supposed to be there. Drusilla didn't dare move.

          The cloak concealed his identity, much to Drusilla's displeasure. She watched as he strayed to the last grave: her own. The woman's brows furrowed, and her jaw nearly hit the ground when he dropped to his knees in front of her tombstone. Who was this? Her eyes followed his movements, the hand that reached out to touch the stone, as if to confirm its presence.

          Time past, Drusilla couldn't exactly say how much. She was still floating in her world, almost unperturbed by the visitor to her grave. It was only when the figure turned to leave that she held back a gasp at Ben's tearful expression. His eyes held grief and pain.

"You stay awake, do you hear me!" Luke's voice rang through her mind; causing her to frown. She didn't recall Luke ever say something in that nature to her. Perhaps it was her memories starting to come back. She suffered a bit of amnesia following the night of the storm; having suffered a head injury when Kylo used the Force to send her through the wall.

          Drusilla tilted her head in confusion. Why had Kylo returned? To mourn? The thought made her nauseous, the woman's face twisted in anger, a sneer forming on her features. How dare he desecrate her grave and pretend to be sad?

"Please! don't you dare close your eyes!"

          Frozen, forced to watch as Kylo's figure retreated back into the forest. Away from her. She felt a sigh of relief as he disappeared from his vision. She didn't move; didn't make a sound. Drusilla simply laid there. She looked up to the skies, once again loosing herself with the pink clouds above her. No matter how lost she felt at that moment, she still couldn't shake the grief-stricken Ben from her thoughts. Was all hope gone? Yes, she concluded bitterly. Kylo had taken over and her love was gone. Unbeknownst to Drusilla, this wouldn't be the last time she would see Kylo grieve at her grave.

          Calmly, the woman shut her eyes, falling backwards into the familiar euphoric bliss that engulfed her. When she opened her eyes, she was no longer leant against the tree, but laying against her back on the cold ground of the academy.

          Drusilla was freezing. Her cheeks felt cold from dried tears, her arms and legs had goosebumps crawling up towards her middle, where she felt a painful burn seeping from her stomach. Her vision was blurry, almost double as her eyes fell to her hands, covered by blood, both dried, darkened wine and fresh, bright scarlet dripping along her dirty skin. 

          Her disoriented brown eyes met her teacher's worried blues – they held the expression of someone who had lost everything – and she painstakingly cleared her dried throat, the feeling similar, she imagined, to one of swallowing razorblades. Her raspy and weak voice met Luke's ears, filling him with hope despite the underlaying darkness of her words.

"We lost him, Luke."

[v short update bc the last one was hella long... like and comment for more ]