Prologue

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Prologue

Stolen moments...

Iyon lang ang aking nakukuha noong nakilala ko siya. I dreamt that one day, I can be by his side and hold his hands publicly, but one news slapped me back to reality.

"Primrose." He called out my name after dragging me in a corner where no one can see nor hear us... just like the usual.

I closed my eyes, begging for my tears not to fall in front of him. I could only blame myself because I was afraid and didn't have the courage to face the public. I asked for this. I asked him to keep our relationship a secret. Maybe that's the reason.

Huminga ako nang malalim.

"Why?" My voice cracked. Sinubukan niyang lumapit pa sa akin pero agad akong umatras bago pa siya makalapit.

His jaw clenched as he stopped, "I'm sorry."

Dalawang salita na ayokong marinig mula sa kanya. Para saan pa?

A bitter smile flashed on my face, "I was just your girlfriend yesterday, but then I woke up just to see the news about you and her!" I shook my head and laughed, "How funny that I even convinced myself that it's just a rumor. I hold on to the fact na hindi pa nag re-release ng statement ang management mo, pero wala pang isang oras ay kinumpirma na nila ang relasyon niyong dalawa ng magiging ka-love team mo."

I wanted to scream just to ease the pain inside of me, but I didn't. Nahihirapan na nga akong tiisin panuorin siya na may ibang babae, na may mga nababasa ako kung gaano kagusto ng mga fans niya ang love team nila. Paano pa noong nalaman ko ang balitang may relasyon sila at halos lahat ng fans niya ay masaya?

His jaw clenched even more, "Inaamin ko, nagkamali akong pumayag sa kanila na makipagdate sa ka-love team ko. They want us to create hype for our upcoming drama, Prim. You know how the entertainment industry works. Still, I explained to them that I already have a girlfriend! Kaso alam kong ayaw mong malaman nila kung sino ka. Then they said na it's just for my image, for my career."

He tried to hold my hand but I shook it away, that's why he stopped from trying. He just stood there in front of me. He's so near, yet so far. I can't reach him anymore.

"Prim, I tried to tell you, pero natakot ako, kasi nakikita ko kung paano ka nasasaktan tuwing may pinapares sa aking babae, kaya tinago ko nalang at pumayag. Then, they announced my relationship with her without talking to me first. They announced it before I could even talk to you."

He avoided my gaze when I looked at him. There's something more, it's definitely not the only reason.

"You helped me reach the top again. Ikaw ang dahilan kung bakit muli akong nakabangon. But I can't destroy my career now, Prim, kaya pumayag ako. Inaamin kong pumayag ako noon para sa career ko lang..."

I can hear a 'but', and I can't help but close my eyes. I don't want to hear it, and yet, I can't just ignore it. Kailangan ko rin ang katotohanan. Alam kong hindi maaaring takbuhan ko lang ito.

Nang hindi niya tinuloy ang kanyang sasabihin ay ako na mismo ang tumapos nito, "Kaso nagkagusto ka na rin sa kanya? Nagkagusto ka sa magiging ka-love team mo lang na ngayon ay girlfriend mo na at alam ito halos ng lahat, tama ba?"

Sa kanyang katahimikan, tanging ang pagbasag ng aking puso ang siyang aking narinig. I should have expected this to happen. The entertainment industry is cruel, and reality sucks.

Sinabi ko noon sa aking sarili na hindi ako makikipagrelasyon sa celebrity, pero para sa kanya ay sumugal ako. Kaya bakit kailangan namin umabot sa ganito?

"So I guess this is the end for us," I chuckled bitterly. "Hindi naman maaaring kumapit pa ako sa taong unang bumitaw na."

"Prim..."

I shook my head, again, "I'm fine, don't worry."

I have to be. This is the only thing that I can use to save myself, by convincing both of us that I'm alright. I will be.

Nang marinig kong nag anunsyo na ang host na magsisimula na ang awarding ay agad kong pinunasan ang luhang tumakas sa aking mata, "You should go inside."

At first, he didn't move and we just stood there in silence, but then he closed the gap between us.

For the last time, I let him kiss my forehead. When he turned around and started to walk, my tears suddenly rolled down my cheeks.

Bakit ba sa maling tao ako sumugal?

Hindi ko alam kung gaano katagal akong nakatayo roon at sinubukang pigilan ang aking luha nang may biglang lumabas sa isang gilid. What the hell? Mabilis akong yumuko dahil hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko magawang pigilan ang aking pag-iyak.

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop, sorry,"

His voice was calm and comforting. Para bang sa boses pa lang niya ay malalaman mong mabait siya't may respeto. A celebrity? Hindi ko alam dahil hindi ko inaangat ang aking ulo.

Naramdaman kong tumabi siya sa akin. Isang panyo ang kanyang inabot na siyang tinanggap ko kahit na nakayuko't nakatakip ang mahaba kong buhok sa aking mukha. I'm a total mess right now!

"Thank you," I said, almost like a whisper.

I felt him patted my head, "You don't deserve someone like him. I really don't know how to comfort someone, but, I know that one day, you'll find a person who will love you more than you love him."

I remained silent, but for some reason, my tears stopped.

"Isa pa, hindi lahat ng celebrity ay kagaya niya, ha? May mga iba naman na naghahanap rin ng totoong pagmamahal," he chuckled. "Anyways, I need to go, so bye and sorry ulit."

When he left, I couldn't help but stare at the handkerchief on my hand and the letters engraved on it... I didn't realize that these four letters will also be carved in my heart.

L O E Y.

**********

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