Act Two

XVI

A long pause of silence passes by. The man is sure he can hear his own blood flowing through his veins during the prolonged period. "Where did you get that information from?" The brunette finally speaks, her voice monotone. "I was there. I was there when Odile fell. When the Pince dropped the dark swan. When he dropped you." The woman's hand slightly trembles as she holds the telephone to her ear, thoughts racing a mile a minute. Yakov was there when it happened. He witnessed her fall and never said a word about it. "So... that's why you thought I was familiar?" She quietly questions, never imagining he would have been there and that was his reason for knowing her.

What if he never realized?

"Yes, if that was you, that is. The pieces to the puzzle all add up. You graduated through the Bolshoi and have not performed since then. You mentioned Swan Lake, it makes sense to me now. I saw your show with my parents. It was my first time attending a ballet show and I always wondered what happened to the ballerina after the accident." The other end is perfectly silent, almost mistaken as a lost signal. "Lilya, are you still there?" He asks after another moment. "Yes, I'm still here." She answers after, in continuous disbelief. The man she is with has seen her worst failure. What does he think of her now? Weak? A coward? If anything, those are the two she strongly believes in herself. She still thinks about that night. How she had the weight of the show on her, the pressure to be flawless and graceful in new territory. It all crashed down after her fall. Her fall that ruined the evening's show.

Lilia's embarrassed for her mistake.

"It's getting a bit late now, I don't want to take up your time." The woman mentions, her voice barely over a whisper. "Okay. (1) *Спокойной ночи, Lilya." The man responds, feeling something is off again. Surely, anyone would be distant or uncomfortable talking about an accident like that but Lilia seems different. Lilia is holding back and he can tell even over the phone. She is a tongue biter. If she wanted him to know, she would have said so sooner, right? He does not understand why she is so secretive but he does have to respect her time. Lilia's brought up multiple facts about her personal life. Not enough but plenty to start a basic foundation. Perhaps, she is not used to opening up so soon?

(1) *Спокойной ночи, Yasha.

Weightless, crash, gasp. Weightless, crash, gasp, snap. Weightless, crash, gasp, snap, breathless. Weightless, crash, gasp, snap, breathless, numb. Repeat. An injury replays like a typewriter's carriage being set back in place, starting a new line. Her entire life is a repeat. Thoughts, dreams, fears, even every day living. When will this battle stop? She does feel guilty for not diving deeper over the matter but the truth is, she was not ready. Lilia is not sure if she will ever be ready. Yakov sure made that job easy on her though. He was the one who brought it up and all she had to do was confirm it. Simple enough, right? Not so much. The world came to a halt, her mind ran off track, her sense of self deterred for a moment. The physical pain may be gone, most days, but it is not in the mind nor the heart. Along with that, other problems and traumas enhance the pain. Theoretically, adding more fuel to a burning fire. To her, her mind is the flame on a match. A fire that is then setting others ablaze.

It is a tough struggle to deal with. Hardly anyone to run to when the world seems to crumble, someone she is close enough to, or even someone to hug. All Yakov can do now, is watch the fire burn. He can't run into the flames, through the smoke, and choke up before making it to the eye. The woods have all burned, the lake has doubled its size and swallowed the swan whole, down into the depths of the underground where the old Lilia lays to rest. The old Lilia is gone but she is slowly returning to her previous ways. When will she let go completely? She may have left the past but there is still a thread of rope hanging on. It is only a matter of time until that final fiber snaps and she is gone.