Coffee Pages (JenLisa Fanfiction)

Chapter Nine

Jennie
•••

We find our way to the couch without tearing apart. My back hits the cushion and her body presses against mine. I pull her closer. Our lips move in sync and the need for friction has me bucking my hips to meet hers. My tongue asks for entrance and I'm granted with melodious movements of her own. A moan pries out of me when she starts to grind.

"Jennie."

Her lips are pulled away and I open my eyes to find us still in the kitchen. She stares at me with a thumb rubbing my cheek. Then I realize my hands are on the hem of her shirt, stopped halfway in the midst of removing it.

Oh, god.

I shouldn't have.

She's my friend.

She's been so kind and caring to me and I shouldn't think of her this way.

"Sorry." I let go of her shirt and step back. Her hands drop to her sides and she purses her plump lips.

"I, uhm..." I have to turn around. I can't look at the unsettlement that dawns on her face because the guilt of thinking about her in such sexual impulses is already striking. "Jennie?"

"Sorry, I should have asked." I shouldn't have let my desire to go further take hold.

"N-no, please, stop apologizing." she's stuttering. I think I made a mistake. Maybe I misread it all. Maybe she didn't want to kiss me. Maybe she leaned in to tell me something, but I subconsciously pressed my lips on hers and she didn't want to pull away because it would have been awkward and Lisa's just too nice to make someone uncomfortable, but I'm an idiot who does a great job at ruining things and- "I'm just not sure if this is... what you want."

The night I met Lisa again after our time apart, after our group dinner, was the beginning. The beginning of whys. Why speaking of matters that were so difficult before were all of a sudden, so easy. Questions like why walking home in the crisp air wasn't so grim with Lisa's scarf around me, why waking up in the morning was motivating, why standing by the counter waiting for the bells to chime was suspenseful, why I always hoped that it would be Lisa, why moving boxes wasn't such a chore, why missed memories and ex girlfriend talk was embittering, why crying was as relieving and natural as it was with her, all followed the day after.

Slow dancing to my favorite song in my cozy bookstore café with Lisa on what was supposed to be the hardest day of the year was part of the icebreaker. How she was able to turn yesterday into a memory I would want to remember forever. How she makes difficult matters seem not so difficult at all, how she makes me feel safe walking home when she can't be right beside me, how she makes waking up in the morning so motivating, how she makes me look forward to brewing coffee, how she makes moving boxes the most hilarious thing, how she makes me long to be in every memory from here on out, how she makes me cry without an ounce of shame, and how she makes me look forward to Christmas again.

Then when she walked through my apartment door this evening with her duffle bag and stuffed teddy bear in hand with her radiant smile, determination to help me cook even if she's not as fond of it as her father, the comfort she gave me while we sat together on the couch, the aroused sensation I got when that scene came on, and every single moment that led to her lips dancing against mine was the capstone to what I really want. 

I spin around. I take back the step I made to move away from her and intertwine our hands. She leans closer and I'm dying to kiss her again. "I'm sorry if you don't feel the same way- I completely understand. But I really like you, Jennie."

I just can't help myself.

I kiss her.

For a second, I regret not asking, but when she returns this second kiss, I'm smiling from ear to ear.