[COMPLETE] First Time

TRANSMISSION 10 - YOU

A glimpse.

That was all it took to have my heart broken all over again.

Sungjin looked so, so happy and so healthy, and I robbed him of that chance before. But not this time.

He has started to manifest more obvious symptoms.

On top of that, Wonpil's confession...

After all this time, was I the only one who thought of him as a friend?

All this time, I've been hurting him and using him unknowingly, but he has still been the same kind, dependable Pil. The only constant in this multiverse... And this life.

Something cold pressed on my forehead and I jumped. Pil handed me a glass of cold coffee (with just the right amount of milk, cream, and sugar) and said, "You look terrible. We should leave the Chamber now and -"

It was a very Pil thing to say, but I got a bit annoyed. "Is this about your confession? I'm thinking about it, okay? I didn't know you were the kind of person who took things personally."

He was silent for a few minutes then he sighed. It was then I noticed that he was still wearing the same clothes from two days ago, and that he had bags under his eyes.

"Pil, I'm sorry - "
"You look like you haven't slept either, that's all. I wanted to leave early too, to get some sleep. But..." He cleared his throat and said, "I'll go ahead then."

He gathered his things and strode out of the Dome Chamber, but I grabbed his arm to stop him.

"Pil, I'm sorry. I am thinking about your confession it's just -"

"That's why I told you it isn't important. The important thing is keeping Sungjin alive. The stats have decreased, but only barely; We're still at 10% with just that bump and that's already with the changes in your schedule."

He slowly loosened my hold on his arm. "I have never taken things personally, but matters concerning you is an exception. Despite these feelings, you're my friend first and foremost. We are going to see this through, okay?" He patted my head and gave me a smile.

Has Wonpil always been this gentle?

"I'm going back to the dorms. I really need to sleep."

"Pil?"
"Hm?"

I hugged him and he stood there frozen at first, before slowly wrapping his arms around me. It surprised me how well I fit with Pil.

"At this rate, I won't need sleep. But what's this about?"

"Thank you for being my friend, all this time. I'm sorry for taking you for granted and for being blind to your feelings but I -"

"- love Sungjin, I know," Pil finished. He held me by my shoulders and gently pushed me away. "That's why I'm letting go of these feelings. There's room for me in your heart, but only as a friend. That's more than enough."

"I'm tired. Also I have been shot down without any hesitation. I'm doubly tired," Pil said jokingly, a slight smile on his face. "Let me walk away from you, just this once in my life... To preserve what little dignity I have left. May I?" He asked softly, and I saw in his eyes how devastated he truly was at the same time how much he really loved me.

I nodded and started to cry, tears slowly streaming down my face. Pil placed his warm hands on my cheeks and brushed them off slowly. He kissed me gently on the forehead just as he always has..

Then turned on his heel and walked away from me.

And this time, I let him.