We're Finding Hope In The Hopeless

This Wasn't Some 'New Year, New Me' Bullshit

"Let's go visit Raven, Scarlett." I slipped on her little beanie and wrapped her up in her blanket. We walked out to the car while she cooed in my ear. I strapped her into her car seat and shut the door. Silently, I drove to the piercing shop where I used to work. I wished I hadn't ever quit but there was no turning back now with Scarlett on my hands. We pulled into the large parking lot and I found the shop upstairs. When I opened the door, the familiar bell sound chimed. Raven glanced up at me from the magazine she was reading.

"Hey, Raven." I said quietly and adjusted my arms around Scarlett. She nodded in my direction as I walked towards her.

"How are you?" She mumbled my way and continued to read. I was silent for a bit before shrugging.

"Not bad. Missing Ricky and taking care of Scarlett myself. How about you?"

"Missing Chris and working by myself today. So not bad either." She slipped a dread behind her ear and closed the magazine. She flashed me a smile, that same one I used to love so well because it was genuine and heart stopping. I returned a small one and walked to a rack of metals for the nose. I skimmed quickly and pointed at a deep blue stud.

"Raven, can I have this one please? It matches Scarlett's eyes." Scarlett made a noise and Raven and I chuckled.

"Sure, one sec." She walked over with the key and unlocked the case. I nodded at the one she pointed at and walked to the register. I paid for the stud and thought, if I invited Raven to lunch, would she accept?

"Hey Raven," I paused when she looked at me, "when you're on break, want to go to lunch?"

"Sure." She grinned just as Brynn walked inside.

"Hey Blaze! Where have you been?" Brynn grinned and quickly walked over to me. We were never the best of friends but she didn't seem so bad now.

"Pregnant then being a mother." I laughed and showed off Scarlett. After nauseatingly cooing at Scarlett, Brynn checked in so Raven could check out. We left the shop and made our way to the nearest Subway. I let Scarlett chew on my bread while I figured out a way to talk to Raven.

Things hadn't been so great but I kept remembering how nice it used to be. It would bother me in my sleep, during the day, and even when she wasn't on my mind. I missed Raven and her beautiful friendship. The way she was always there for me and we got along so well. But I almost lost it all in a selfish act to keep Chris to myself. When I was going to accept that I had to let him go?

"Raven-" I whispered.

"Yeah?" She mumbled with her mouth full of a Veggie Delite.

"I know we're not as close as we used to be but I miss you. And by all means, be with Chris no matter what I say. You're happy, he's happy; and as long as that's happening, I'm happy. I love you and I need my best friend back."

Raven looked at me blankly. She swallowed the remains of her sandwich and took a sip of her water before looking at me.

"Blaze, I already planned on that." She laughed. "But seriously, I miss you too and I know what you're feeling. You're not ready to let go and you're still not sure about Scarlett. I get it; it's just I would like this chance to try out what you had. You seemed so... Perfect when you had Chris. I want that."

What she said made my heart drop. She was right; when I had Chris I wasn't so messed up. He made me whole and happy. Where did that go?

I sighed. "Yeah. But it's time for you to be perfect. And I have Ricky. I'm happy." I smiled at her and she returned it. I cleaned up Scarlett before we left. Raven and I walked to the entrance of the shop and stopped.

"You should come by after work. It would be nice." I offered. Raven pondered and smiled.

"Of course. Send me a picture of that stud in your face!" I laughed at her as I walked back to the car. Scarlett had fallen asleep by the time I arrived home so I attempted to take her inside without waking her up.

Fail.

She started crying and it was awhile before she cried herself to sleep again. When she finally did, I walked out to the porch and sat down. I looked at my phone and wondered who I could call. The guys wouldn't be performing but the question was who do I call?

The phone rang three times before his voice flowed into my ears.

"Hello?" He answered with pure wonder.

"Hi Ricky."

"Hi Blaze." I could almost see the smile in his voice.

"H-how's tour?" I stuttered for a topic.

"Lame. I want to go home..."

"I want you home." I chuckled. "Scarlett needs you too."

"I'll be home in a few days. I promise."

"I'll be waiting under the mistletoe."

Ricky laughed at me and I smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too. Got to go."

"Have fun." I mumbled but he had already hung up. I walked into the house and laid on the couch. My mind wandered and I suddenly got the best idea. I called Claire to watch Scarlett and waited impatiently. When she finally showed up, I ran to my car. I was grinning the whole time and couldn't wait for Ricky to come home and see what I had done.