Somewhere early in my memory, I somehow remember that I've always had the need to make changes. Not in the influential way you'd expect.
I somehow have this ticking desire to put things in order so they run smoothly. Alongside my desire to make a difference.
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Third Grade
I'm a little plump girl on the playground, with few friends and a need for change.
I hate the sand.
Our school was predominantly covered in sand. It would follow you home in your shoes, and when it's windy, in the pockets of your backpack.
Apart from the big ground covered in sand, there were a few trees here and there, and on the far edges there were weeds.
Third grade. A 9 year old girl with a plan.
I'm not sure how I recruited anyone into listening to me, but I did. My plan of action was to go to the edges of the field, pull out some grass and weeds, and sort of “replant” them in the sandy area.
I don't know where this bizarre idea stemmed from, but knowing myself, I was probably extremely excited to put it in motion.
I don't remember much except for the fact that this happened and I have flashbacks thereof. I can see myself bringing handfuls of these weeds to the sandy spot and placing them there. I remember saying something about the scorching sun, and suggesting we “replant” the grass in the shape of a heart. I also remember that so many kids joined in and helped. I don't know when it stopped, or who stopped it. Of course, it was an unsuccessful feat. But I remember the perseverance I had while attempting it and I'm ever reminded of the person I am.
Even at 9 years old,
I wanted more change.
***
Fourth Grade
I started at a new school.
A clean, fresh slate in a different setting. With a lot less sand to be bothered with, and a lot more people.
So I started a club.
I don't remember the exact name or point thereof, but I know I did.
There was a huge tree and beneath it, a bench and a table. It was situated in this little garden at school and you could sit there if you felt like it. And this is where we held our meetings.
I remember having a few girls join. I had a book in which I kept their names and we had all assigned ourselves a flower. The name of the club is on the tip of my tongue and I wish I could remember it.
We sat and talked, we had a day where we ate luxuries. And once more, I had a bizarre idea.
The idea was some sort of DIY project, where we fill a bottle with water and plants for aesthetic purposes. I'm really just an eco-lover at heart. But as a not-so-sensible 9 or 10 year old, I didn't quite know what I was doing. All I knew is that it sounded like a good idea and it needed to be done.
Why anybody listened to me was beyond me.
So I instructed everybody to bring a 2l bottle, and the next day we would fill it with water and plants and show it off to eachother. And we did.
We kept it and showed it off, the muddy brown-green water in bottles filled with stones, grass, flowers and weeds. It didn't last very long, like most things. The water in the bottles smelled awful after a bit. And eventually the club died down. It was pretty wholesome, though. I remember the days in the shade, laughing with friends who decided to join my club.
Why? I don't know.
Why not.
***
